Moo U Puns

MOOING GUM.................................................................. My 8 year old told me this and I'm curious as to how many up votes it gets, if you don't like it please down vote without any bad feelings .

Why did the tree moo?

Because there was a cow stuck in it!

Moo Zealand.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

moo-hoo

For all the moo law

Whose there?

Cow says

Cow says who?

No, cow says moo, dummy

Moo-slims

Cow-moo-flage.

... are my calves mooing.

Knock Knock / Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh—

Moooooooo!

There should be a Trump version.

Knock knock / Who's there?

Interrupting Trump.

Interrupting Trump wh—

Fake moos!

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

Moo outta my way, you cow.

The people believe in Fake Moos.

They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.

Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!

(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)

• French cow: le moo

• Backwards cow: oom

• Upside down cow: woo

• Sad cow: moo hoo hoo

• Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo

• Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo

• Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)

• Cow in disguise: Baa

• Horse in disguise: Moo

• Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo

• Inaudible cow:

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.

It has a moo-stache..

A moo-vie

Because of a mooing violation.

Mooed

I like their song “Baa Moo Rising”

CowMooFlage

A moo-D

because of their im-moo-nity.

A Moo-tant

His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.

She was being Moo-dy.

My family and I were in the car driving down the road the other day. My 5 year old asked for words that rhymed with blue.

“Well, there’s glue, two, moo, snoo, zoo, boo..”

My 8 year old chimes in, “Daddy, what’s snoo?”

My immediate response? “Not much, what’s new with you?”

My journey to the dark side has been complete.

Moo bitch, get outda way! 🤨

It's fake moos

It's our Moo-LAN party!

The Moo-vies.

(As told by my roommate)

I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.

Fake Moos.

With moo lighting.

Moo-chachos.

A moosician.

This joke was proudly brought to you by a six year old. He’ll be a great dad one day.

Because they e-moo

A moo-chete

Moo-kulele

A Lawn-moo-er...

As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy “Hello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says “Don’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. “Thank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying “I’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”

The cow told me to live in the moo-ment.

The hills are alive with the sound of moo sick

They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.