Mishap Creek Puns

Last month, I posted about an investigation I did as a Marine Accident Investigator and a few of you liked it and asked for more. Apologies for the delayed follow-up, holidays and all. If you missed the previous one, I spent a tour doing accident investigations for the Navy and Marine Corps. I was in Norfolk and covered planet Earth as far as where I got sent. Somebody died and it wasn't homicide, suicide, enemy action or natural causes, I got on a plane or drove to where it was and did the safety investigation.

Every investigation I did was different. Some dramatic, some random acts of God (getting hit by lightning [which happened], etc), others – just were plain stupid. This falls into the latter category of ‘just plain stupid’.

I was stationed at Camp Lejeune for around 6 years and was probably there for 2 of them. Not sure what it is about Camp Lejeune, but everything about it just sucks. Maybe I’m just west coast biased (background – I grew up near a large army base in NC, which is exactly why I didn't join the Army).

So this accident would have likely been in 2000 or so on Camp Lejeune. For Marines who have been there, you’ll instantly recognize the geography. If you’ve not been there, every base has somewhere just like it.

A night out drinking

We begin on an average weeknight and a Sergeant who decides, “Its Tuesday, I think I’ll go to the strip club”, you know, as one does on any given Tuesday night around any military base. Our Sergeant is on the logistics side of the house, which means his barracks room is in the French Creek area of the base. Rather than hit one of clubs on the main drag in front of the base (see, you’ve never been to Lejeune and you know exactly what I’m talking about already), “I’ll hit the extra dirty one in Sneeds Ferry” (if you’ve been to Ft Bragg, think Spring Lake v. Bragg Blvd; or Oceanside v. San Diego, etc). So our Sergeant goes and ties a few on at the club and wraps up sometime after midnight on Wednesday morning (1 or 2 a.m. likely).

As you might guess, the local cops are parked across from said club and he doesn’t get 2 miles before he’s doing FST’s. He does not ace them, is arrested, and taken to Onslow County lockup for an official breathalyzer. Meanwhile, his prized possession, a ’99 Ford Explorer, is parked near the elementary school our near Dixon, N.C (see, all you Lejeune vets are getting a blast from the past – you’re welcome).

At the OCSO, trusted Sergeant actually blows something lower t

So, I know this concept has been covered a lot but I’d like to add my own ideas as a very family-oriented player. If any of these features are included in other packs, please don’t focus on that, TS4 repeats stuff now and again and I’m fine with that. And yes, we have Parenthood and I enjoy that pack but it’s not enough. I don't really think TS4 Generations will ever be a thing, this is just for fun.

New world that'll make the stuff I want flow easier. Willow Creek without rivers all over the place or Newcrest with reasonable lot sizes would be fine. I'd love for it to have an "anytown USA" feel.

We need a lot more activities for both toddlers & children that’ll allow them more opportunities to interact with each other as well as adults. Literally just start with Generations and go from there. Dress-up, school functions like plays, field trips, graduations, parent day, show & tell, etc. Even if these are primarily events that happen through a pop-up, it’d be nice. Stuff like coloring books (that are like homework and don’t require an activity table) and more toys, maybe can even be used down on the floor. And more outdoor activities - sidewalk chalk, jump rope, playing catch, and tag.

This would be a good time to add “in between” life stages because there are a lot of gaps IMO. There needs to be something between toddler and child. Perhaps “young child”, a life stage that entails very first days of school, joining activities for the first time like little kid scouts & sports, the ability to cook with adults (something that continues into the next stage), losing teeth & parents being able to give them something from the “Tooth Fairy”, learning to read, tie shoes, ride a bike…all that stuff.

Lots of new recipes which can be passed down in the family. Classic meals like meatloaf, chicken & dumplings, casseroles, lasagna, stew, and various deserts.

Learning to ride a bike could become its own mini-skill like skating. This would probably have to be tied to an object and require a lot of space but I’d so love it. Something that can be minorly added onto in the toddler stage with a tricycle, then fully utilized in the child stage(s).

Picture day at school. And some ability to take family photos that is easier and less time consuming than poses (I love them dearly but having to force photos so much can be tiring).

Board games! A classic that’s tragically missing. And please don’t let it require its own table like cards. Just let us sla

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Well, the title is pretty self explanatory.

Today, I got my letter that my academic appeal failed (failed one lab and one lecture - passed everything else) and they are keeping my suspension. This means that I’m unenrolled from the school and am effectively adrift in Texas (from California - moved for school reasons).

I really don’t know what to do at this point. Granted, I do have a major in public relations to technically fall back on, but the income from that position pales in comparison to a professional degree. If I want to try higher education again, this suspension is going to haunt me - the top-tier schools are going to look and laugh at this mishap, which means I’ll have to go to lower-ranked institutions for a minuscule chance at the big top.

I just frankly want a job that pays decently and allows me to care for my parents, who live in Southern California. I’m worried that I sent those dreams up the creek though. I’m just so lost right now.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

[Removed]

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.