Misery Harbour Puns

Hey everyone!

So with 2021 drawing to a close, I wanted to once again to a yearly lore recap. However, because of how lore was done this year, I’m going to be splitting this up, and omitting some stuff.

I’ll be structuring this to talk about this year’s short stories, then Legends of Runeterra’s stuff, as it often expands heavily on the lore in specific areas, and then I’ll touch on Rise of the Sentinels briefly, something I can do because Riot more or less did it for me with their big blog post recently.

I won’t be talking about Riot Forge titles or Arcane, for these reasons:

• They’re all very recent paid content and I don’t want to spoil that for those who haven’t gotten in to it yet
• I haven’t beaten Ruined King to properly summarize it
• I couldn’t tell you if Hextech Mania is canon or not
• Arcane isn’t canon

So with that out of the way, let’s get in to it!

Redeemed

Starring: Senna, Lucian, Thresh, Isolde

This story immediately leads in to “Ruination”.

With plans to continue their work against the Black Mist, Senna is assailed by magic, and arrives in a hellish landscape, remarkably like Thresh’s lantern. As it turns out he’s attacking her from afar for some unknown purpose. While inside, Senna comes face to face with the thing that gave her the “Curse of Life”, none other than a fragment of Isolde’s soul.

As a child, this piece of Isolde had found her as the Mist came to Senna’s island home, and stayed with her to keep her safe, though this in turn drew the Mist to young Senna relentlessly. The two reconcile, and together break free of Thresh’s magic, though Isolde warns of events transpiring in Bilgewater, and of Viego’s return.

TL;DR: Senna has a heart to heart with Isolde.

She

Starring: Viego

Tortured by the memory of Isolde, for he cannot remember her in the exact, perfect capacity he desires, he sets out from his throne in the Shadow Isles to find her. Seeking out a fragment of her soul, he winds up at a coastal city, letting the Mist lay waste to it. Within, guarded by a king, is a music box containing a piece of her. He offers the king a chance to surrender it, leaving the king dumbfounded, only for Viego to kill him anyway and take it.

TL;DR: Viego claims the first piece of Isolde’s soul.

With Teeth

Starring: Renekton, Raz Bloodmane

This story is set a few weeks after “Bloodline”.

Following Xerath’s devastation of the city of Vekaura, the “Sandthrashers”, a group of Shuriman raiders, are taking their

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the first part of our Curse of the Mistwraith read-along. Today, we'll be talking about first impressions and discussing the first two chapters.

To begin with, how do you find the story so far?

And how about the prose? Easy to read or a bit hard to get through?

Any first impressions on Lysaer and Arithon? Lysaer's personality, or Arithon's behaviour while prisoner in Brianne's hold?

And am I the only one who may have wished for the old king to get chocked on a bone and drop dead at that feast of his?

In case any of you would like to discuss the finer points:

- the emotions both brothers go through when they see each other for the first time in Brianne’s sail-hold are pivotal for their character build-up. Did you notice any of them? The same can be said for Arithon's memories during his delirium. Why do you think he's engulfed by such a wrenching guilt?

Or is there perhaps anything else you'd like to talk about? Talera's story or the Rauven High Mage? Setting, world or characters?

For a better understanding, I have added a few details about the Worldsend gates, as well as Athera’s royal lines in the chapter summaries below.

Please read them ONLY AFTER you've read Chapters 1&2 of the book.

DETAILED CHAPTER SUMMARIES

Chapter Set 1

I. CAPTIVE

The chapter opens with the aftermath of a naval battle. 17 full-rigged warships of Amroth had tried to destroy a single brigantine from Karthan. And they succeeded but at the high cost of 7 warships destroyed through shadow and sorcery by the brigantine before it went under.

Looking for survivors among the wreckage, the sailors from Amroth’s warship Brianne rescue a young Karthan pirate who turns out to be none other than Arithon s’Ffalenn, the crown prince of Karthan.

Arithon s’Ffalenn, was the illegitimate son of Amroth’s own Queen who had betrayed Amroth and ran straight into the arms of his archenemy – the Pirate King of Karthan. Captured alive, he is a great prize to offer to the Amroth king, especially as*'Sailors sworn to the pirate king's service seldom permitted themselves to be taken alive.'*Now that should tell us something about the relationship between the 2 kingdoms and the treatment the prisoners may expect.

Locked in the chartroom of the ship, Arithon wakes up, plunges the ship into darkness and tries to escape. He is knocked out cold by a fist to the he

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

This is it, the moment you've all been waiting for! The results for our Top Horror Novels Poll! You can see the original voting thread here. But first, you know what's even more exciting than numbered lists? Methodological blathering about the process! Woo!

How does it compare to the last poll?

Our last Top Horror Novels poll was four years ago. Despite enormous sub growth since then, this poll had a very similar number of both votes and participants to the previous poll. There were 69 voters who cast 614 eligible votes (averaged about 8.7 votes per comment) for a total of 250 entries by 198 authors. The shortest voting comment voted for only a single work: Let the Right One In. Special thanks goes out to u/LittlePlasticCastle who still remembered all the analysis macros from the last time this poll was run and was able to help me out.

How was participation?

Overall, participation was very good and there were a lot of interesting votes. I read through all the comments twice during the voting period, once at the midway point and once on the final full day of voting, trying to give advanced notice to anyone with potential errors or ineligible entries trying to ensure that everyone was able to get the most from their vote. For the most part, people were great about correcting voting mistakes when prompted. The title that needed the most correction was Pet Sematary by Stephen King because "cemetery" is already a tricky word (seriously, I had to double check the spelling just for this paragraph) and "Sematary" is a very unique misspelling of that word so there were just many potential points where a misspelling could occur.

Were there any disqualified votes?

Disqualified votes were extremely rare. Only one user had every item in their vote disqualified because they appeared to mistake the Top Horror Novels Poll for the regular Top Novels Poll and voted for nothing but epic fantasy novels. Said user did not respond when asked to switch their vote to eligible works. Most disqualifications came from individual instances of people voting for a short story (usually The Tell-Tale Heart by Poe) which unfortunately didn't qualify under our criteria. The most individual disqualifications in a vote that still mostly counted came from one user who voted for novels in the same

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

For 28 years, I endured the wrath and volatility of an aggressive mother that harboured little to no feminine and nurturing qualities. I was her therapist since I was a small boy, listening to her complain about my father that she emasculated and divorced decades ago. Complaining about other family members was a sport for her and she was world class at it.

Little did I realise just how damaging that was for my self esteem and wellbeing. As I was growing into becoming a young man, at 20, and was excited at the potential of finally gaining independence…I was hit with an illness that struck me down as if some God decided to curse me yet again like he did with allowing me to be fashioned into a human in the womb of the woman that claimed and treated me as property for all my life.

My luck…

This forced me to rely on her “hospitality” for several more years and I regressed into the very same socioeconomic condition that I was in as a child. I’d often look at my 10 year old nephew and think that there’s literally no difference except our sizes. He lives with his parents and relies on their food and income and is dictated to by them. As was I. Until I was 28. Until last week.

I’d often weep as I was hiding like a fugitive in my mother’s home, alone in my room while listening to music. “Sing for these kids who don’t have a thing, except for a dream and a fking rap magazine, who post pin up pictures on their walls all day long, idolise their favourite rappers and know all their sons..or for anyone who’s ever been through sh!t in their lives so they’d sit and cry at night wishing they did till they’d throw on a rap record and they sit and they vibe”….

I’d sing that song religiously for years and these lyrics remained constant in my memory. They’d be my comfort. I’d “sit and vibe”, forget my reality for a brief moment.

Music has been my saviour much like the faithful believe in their Messiah offering them sanctuary.

It’s been over a week since I fled the prison I locked myself in for years and I no longer yearn for death as much. The su!cidal urges have calmed down like violent waters after a storm has passed. Now there’s only a tide being caressed by mild winds.

I left to save my life..Scratch that. Life was nonexistent in that household. I left to save my future. For I believe that I would have denied air to my lungs like my chronic skin disease and my toxic biological portal that others know as mother denied me happiness. Peace and serenity.

Now, I wake u

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Context: I've come a long way to attend a university degree study (albeit part time) in NTU. Nevertheless, the course itself has the same no. of modules as a full time one stretching out 5 years of working and studying at the same time. My copy-paste below is what I've wrote 9 years ago during that moment, after editing out the more personal stuff, and to keep this as an archive in Reddit. Back then, I was 28... moving 9 years forward, honestly, I don't feel any difference.

Hope this old lad's personal experience can help in one way or another for people who come across this and are struggling now. Warning, this is really TLDR (Too long, don't read), you've been warned.

===================

5 heck of a year and here we are... My final update...

Whoever happen to come across my lore, I applaud you. This is not fiction but merely a tale of a simpleton trying to live the life in a society shaped by a core emphasis on education (though they deny, who'd have thought). This is my 5 years.

It seems like everything goes well, in a little more than 2 months time from this last update, I'll be attending the graduation ceremony with my classmates, which we've completed a nearly-crazy challenge given to ourselves back in 2007. I will not believe anyone who have not attempted this would be able to imagine how tough, how mind-boggling, how life-changing taking up this 5 years part time degree course would do. At least for me, I couldn't imagine it too back then, when I picked up that letter from NTU congratulating me for being successful in the enrollment.

That beginning…

After receiving 3-4 rejections from enrollment, I'd have thought to enroll myself elsewhere instead. After all, a GPA of 3.58 from Poly doesn't seem to help in anyway, only to prove that sometimes, society is cruel. Yet I fought on, times after times. But this time, it takes more than courage to take it up. I believe it must have been like a week of intensive insomnia to make that decision, the decision to be enrolled into a 5 years Part time course. At that time, I was 23...

I knew it very well that after I've graduated, I'd have wasted 5 years of my life which might have been spent on a lot more meaningful matters. I knew it very well that after I've graduated, I'd have been old enough to be a father and start a family. I know it very well that after I've graduated, I'd have almost been too old to do fun stuff and for all fun and games. So why did I take it up? Perhaps it is the socia

Pilot on me!!

I am not free. I am prisoner to my own poor decisions and the thoughts of what very likely could have been, had I only not been so foolish.

I am an uneducated, inexperienced, naive 27 year old. I have spent the last 10 years living in misery because of choices I made in the past. I cannot move forward because I am plagued with regret of things I've done and things I should have done.

Compared to others my age I am a naive child who appears to have been mentally in a comatose state since the age of 14: I have not matured much since I was a teenager. Others in my age group are faring much better than I am. Many of them are optimistic, experienced, educated and well travelled socialites with vigorous desire to live.

I have none of those things. At my age I don't expect to have made leaps and bounds of progress, but I expected to have at least had something to show for my time here. I didn't even get a t-shirt.

I failed in school, I was unemployed for years and didn't have a job until around a year ago, I don't have a single friend of note, I've never been anywhere, I've never done anything worthwhile, and I haven't got any skills or abilities to write home about.

At my age I should have some sense of agency in my life. I should have someone to call when I need help. I should have a resume without so much blank space. I should have at least a bit of progress to look back on to know I'm going in the right direction. I should have some life experience and stamps in my passport. I should be able to look at my peers and not feel like an alien compared to them.

I've not accomplished any of my goals nor am I anywhere close to the person I hoped to be at this age. I look in the mirror and feel a bitter tang of disgust at the sight of the miserable, pitiful husk of a man that looks back at me. How grotesque and overweight he is. How feeble his face, empty his head, and useless his hands. He is a sorry excuse for a man, he is still a boy who never grew up.

I have only just moved out of my mother's house, shamefully at my age. I have only just gotten myself a vehicle. I have only just secured what could be construed as the beginning of a career. But these are all things that I should have had years ago. They don't mean anything now because my life is already hollow.

I am missing a lot. I have never once been out with friends, nor do I have any. I have never left the country or had an adventure. I have never had an experience that made me gratefu

I was on the phone earlier to my brother. He has some serious medical issues and something has happened that has made him call the emergency services. He has recently been living alone since his girlfriend of over two decades left him for another guy, the ex-girlfriend blaming the entire break-up on my brother for being 'fat and ugly', 'useless', 'stupid' and 'uncaring', despite my brother having very serious self-image issues and struggling as best he can to be as supportive as he can towards both the girlfriend, who has anxiety herself and can't venture out (unless it's with the new guy), and my mum, whose incipient dementia is not easy to deal with at all. But now he's called his girlfriend to come and look after him until the paramedics arrive (UK, covid - there are time delays). This is partly in order not to worry our mum and partly because I, his sibling, who would otherwise be there, live in a different country, but mostly because he'd rather rely on an unfaithful partner who dumped him in the shittiest way imaginable than hold his head up high and go to A&E alone. When I expressed surprise that he'd called his ex in an emergency, he said, 'Yeah. She made it clear she couldn't really be bothered to get out of bed, but at least in the end she's coming.'

My brother's no angel himself, believe me, but the girlfriend is hardly a safe harbour. But anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is that, at times like this, having grown up in a highly dysfunctional, often violent family, and having seen a whole host of relatives and friends settle for someone who at best made them unhappy - or at worst, in one or two particular cases, beat them - that I really do wonder what in heaven's name people want to be in a relationship for.

I was thinking hard about this, trying to tally up the number of couples I know, gay, straight or otherwise, who are actually happy - and I don't want to sound arrogant, but I know a shitload of people from different generations, of all sexualities, and in three different countries (UK, Spain and Japan) - and I can't for the life of me count on one hand the ones who are actually happy, at least not from what they've told me. That doesn't mean there's violence or misery involved, but there doesn't seem to be much joy, either. Just a kind of expected getting-on-with-things.

I'm really not a cynical person. I often catch myself thinking, 'Wow! Life is amazing!' or 'Hello, hello! I'm happy!' And I meet each and every n

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

As seasons shift, frost falls, and snow starts, I come to reflect upon what growth the year has taught me in relation to this life.

The word of the year is CONSCIOUS. To be conscious, to have a conscious, what is consciousness? I have seen people awake without it, I have seen it switch off mid-conversation, I have seen it suppressed and I have seen it grown. The difference between man, beast, and machine lies in this nature of mind, something I have worked towards creating in myself for as long as I can remember. Intangible, immaterial, self-propagating in its highest states and oppressive in its lowest, the precise quality nearly impossible to pinpoint when the difference is awareness to easily missed details often unspoken upon. In its barest state it can be described as awareness, but what does that really entail? In even the most basic protozoa, there needs to be the ability to recognize surroundings and respond to stimulation with discernment for what is being ingested to continue living in this realm. Without eyes, ears, or limbs, its interactions are only the most essential to keeping its cellular chemistry in flow, yet these are still conscious interactions with food and water and other beings around. They still feel the world around them, just as our eyes feel the light and our ears feel noises on the air; the only real difference is scale determining what is relatively important to the individual being.

The entire universe is made of vibration/frequency/resonance, but the resonance of electromagnetism generated through this living interaction is a special one. Cellular computation is an eternal process for all (except tardigardes) that has a small thrumming beat to it, a pulse sent through the world for any with enough perception to witness; the electrochemistry generated by this is the essence of consciousness. There is a massive variety to the sensory organs with specialized fields of perception that changes the capacity of consciousness depending on species and individual. We can marvel at the capacities of various animals; the ears and eyes of owls, a hound's nose, the electro-sensory capacity of hammerhead sharks, but how often do we appreciate the depth of sense available to a man? A human finger can feel into the millimeter of a wood grain while calculating the engineering and trajectory for a space launch. A computer can now do both of those things as well, and often better than we can; what makes a human superior to having AI running

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

The island was nothing without the lighthouse.

It was the defining feature. A stone monolith, rising out of the earth like a haunted spire, sweeping its glowing gaze out across the rage of the Atlantic ocean. Cold Rock Keep was different from other lighthouses, though. Cold Rock Keep had a bodycount.

Ever since anybody could remember, the island had been a haunted affair. A cursed place where ships went to die. The legend went that once upon a time, way back when the town was first erected in god-knows-when, there lived a coven of witches upon Cold Rock. They practiced their craft there because they thought the ocean would keep them safe.

And it did. For a time.

But like any old story, the players eventually disappear, and so too was the case with these witches. They died off, or were killed. Who can say? History has a funny way of forgetting itself. Whatever the case was, the shipwrecks didn’t let up, and so a lighthouse was built on the island to warn ship’s away from its serrated shores.

That lighthouse, though, didn’t seem to help matters one bit. In fact, after it was built the deaths just went up and up, and soon the jagged coastline of Cold Rock was filled with the corpses of shattered vessels. It didn’t take long for the townsfolk to come to an agreement that the island was cursed, and that the lighthouse had somehow become a conduit for that evil.

After that, folks just started avoiding Cold Rock. Local folks, at least. We knew better, because our mothers and fathers knew better, and their mothers and fathers had known better before them. They passed down the warnings in bedtime stories, or cautionary tales before trips to the sea.

“Don’t drift too close to the lighthouse,” they’d say, “unless you want the ocean to gobble you up.”

My brother often told me the same.

A fisherman by trade, George was the captain of a small ship called the Trout’s Kiss. It didn’t belong to him, it belonged to the company he worked for, but it really should have-- he could drive that boat through a hurricane and make it out the other side. Everybody knew it. He wasn’t afraid of anything in all the ocean, save for that damn lighthouse, and he’d tell you the same.

“I’d sooner row a skiff through a storm,” he’d say, a pint of beer in his hand, “than drift the Trout’s Kiss past Cold Rock!”

That was then, though. He died three days after my ninth birthday.

Capsized.

His boat tossed him and his first-mate overboard, then the Trout’s Kiss smashed into a thousan

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

Nothing, it just waved

Hey everyone!

So with 2021 drawing to a close, I wanted to once again to a yearly lore recap. However, because of how lore was done this year, I’m going to be splitting this up, and omitting some stuff.

I’ll be structuring this to talk about this year’s short stories, then Legends of Runeterra’s stuff, as it often expands heavily on the lore in specific areas, and then I’ll touch on Rise of the Sentinels briefly, something I can do because Riot more or less did it for me with their big blog post recently.

I won’t be talking about Riot Forge titles or Arcane, for these reasons:

• They’re all very recent paid content and I don’t want to spoil that for those who haven’t gotten in to it yet
• I haven’t beaten Ruined King to properly summarize it
• I couldn’t tell you if Hextech Mania is canon or not
• Arcane isn’t canon

So with that out of the way, let’s get in to it!

Redeemed

Starring: Senna, Lucian, Thresh, Isolde

This story immediately leads in to “Ruination”.

With plans to continue their work against the Black Mist, Senna is assailed by magic, and arrives in a hellish landscape, remarkably like Thresh’s lantern. As it turns out he’s attacking her from afar for some unknown purpose. While inside, Senna comes face to face with the thing that gave her the “Curse of Life”, none other than a fragment of Isolde’s soul.

As a child, this piece of Isolde had found her as the Mist came to Senna’s island home, and stayed with her to keep her safe, though this in turn drew the Mist to young Senna relentlessly. The two reconcile, and together break free of Thresh’s magic, though Isolde warns of events transpiring in Bilgewater, and of Viego’s return.

TL;DR: Senna has a heart to heart with Isolde.

She

Starring: Viego

Tortured by the memory of Isolde, for he cannot remember her in the exact, perfect capacity he desires, he sets out from his throne in the Shadow Isles to find her. Seeking out a fragment of her soul, he winds up at a coastal city, letting the Mist lay waste to it. Within, guarded by a king, is a music box containing a piece of her. He offers the king a chance to surrender it, leaving the king dumbfounded, only for Viego to kill him anyway and take it.

TL;DR: Viego claims the first piece of Isolde’s soul.

With Teeth

Starring: Renekton, Raz Bloodmane

This story is set a few weeks after “Bloodline”.

Following Xerath’s devastation of the city of Vekaura, the “Sandthrashers”, a group of Shuriman raiders, are taking their

When I got home, they were still there.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)