Meta (name) Puns

Fellow dads and dad joke enthusiasts, I am replacing my router and would like to take this opportunity to change up my Wi-Fi name. I figured this would be the best place to get the best suggestions so let’s hear them!

My current Wi-Fi is “Help! Im on the roof!” for my 2.4 and “Help! Im still on the roof!” for my 5Ghz.

I said "nothing, what's a meta with you?"

I am trying to come up with a name for a boat rental company that is aimed towards college students. It needs to be something raunchy/punny that people will laugh at and remember.

So far I have: Boats n Ho’s Wet Willie Water rentals Wet n Wild rentals (already taken but an example)

So I’m hoping the internet will do its magic and help me find a name for this place! Let me know if there’s a better subreddit I should post this in!

We have lots of jokes here some good, most not, but that's fine. What we don't have are the "situational" dad jokes, ones that are only funny (for us dad's) in specific situations. I was to collect the classics, so give a situation and then the joke.

Here's example #1, maybe even the ur-dad-joke

When someone stubs their toe: Should I call a toe truck?

A couple more:

When driving past a farm with bundled straw loudly declaring "hay!"

When driving behind an open back horse carrier, declaring "what a horse's ass".

Please share yours!

Currently when someone calls me (like a wife or kid), and it's obvious I know them or am expecting the call, I still answer: 'Who is this?!' all indignant like.

Are there any other ways I can answer the phone to get some serious groanage?

I’m just not sure it’s the Most Effective Title Available.

I need some help from the dads out there to come up with cutsie/punny nicknames for my girlfriend. Her name is Sammi, and I haven't for the life of me been able to come up with anything, and Sammi-ch just sounds disrespectful

Her entire existence will be my ultimate dad joke.