The gateway arch of puns
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?

Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?

William DeFriend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_sobe87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...

Does that make it your... arch nemesis?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObsidianOtter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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What did the butcher say as his arch nemesis ran away?

We will meat again!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Arch Enemies.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swatmax1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?

His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I used to be addicted to brake fluid and couldn't stop. It was a gateway, driving me to power steering fluid.

...I have to find a way to turn my life around before I start hitting the transmission fluid. That would shift my addiction into high gear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Arch Angels
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Succ_4_V-Buck
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoiJFlo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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502 Bad Gateway
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amphetamachine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".

I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbitel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Who is vin diesel's arch enemy?

Vin gasoline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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The welcome mat is a gateway rug.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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Tom Swiftie: β€œWho rounded off the top of this doorway?” Tom said archly.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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I don't know why some people hated soda...

it's only a "soft" drink after all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nmt73441
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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"Okay, I did learn one interesting thing," Gabe admitted.

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Some heel must have started it.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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I heard this gem at Arches National Park.

A boy is resting on the trail back to camp as his dad waits for him and as I am walking by this happens...

Dad: "So when we get back to camp remind me to spray bug spray around your boots."

Son: "Why?"

Dad: "So that the ants wont climb up your pants and bite your candy ass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/munkadelix
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Ha get the pun?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shavedknees
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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My friend's dad dropped this one about marijuana

"If they sold marijuana at the St. Louis Arch, it would literally be a gateway drug..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodlob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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My friend hurt his foot walking around a St.Louis landmark...

It was the Arch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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There is a portal I just can't get through.

It's my arch nemesis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My wife is upset that I got a hemp mat for our patio.

She claims it’s a gateway rug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My ex-best friend used to be really nice to me, but ever since they found out I have flat feet, they've been mean to me and bullying me over it.

They're my arch-nemesis now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azarathos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I walked into work today and there was a sign that said "no drugs, no mittens!"

I walked up to my coworker and said "I get 'no drugs' but what is the deal with mittens?"

He looked at me very concerned and said "Everyone knows mittens are a gateway glove!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diabeo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Got dad joked into next week at work

I work at a supplement retail store and usually greet people with "Hey! How are you today? What brings you in today?" and usually people will just tell me what they are looking for. So, I did the same thing to a man ~50 years old today, but instead of the usual response I get, he just responded with "My feet."

10/10. Would be dad-joked again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnapCrack1ePop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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Why do Castle doors have their locks so far above the ground?

Because of the higher-key

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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Dell should rename their 'learn more about our products' as delve.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cuntinyouus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
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All wine lovers start with drinking port wine!

It's a gateway wine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caposkni
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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Poorly made shoes...

...are my arch enemy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buglepost
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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My father pulled this as we watched transformers

What do you call an upbeat, positive robot?

Optimistic Prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UMsuxD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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Dadjoked by NPR this morning

The voice on the radio explained how collecting rainwater was catching on in environmental groups. Some people upgraded from a 55 gallon barrel to a 500 gallon vessel. Shows that water vessels can be a real gateway jug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crciv
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2016
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Dude, you're getting a DUI

Today at work a different FedEx delivery dude shows up, makes the "dude you got a Dell!" reference (since he was delivering a computer) and then proceeds to say how we don't see those commercials anymore because the actor was jailed for marijuana possession. Everyone heard it wrong and thought our normal guy was in jail, to which my boss replies, "Weed? I thought that was a Gateway drug!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidtermMassacre
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
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Boston Knock Knock Joke

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Arch.

Arch who?

Bless you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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What do you call your rival memelord?

Your arch memesis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickbyfate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Just got my wife

We're out to dinner and a song comes on. Daughter: Mom, do you know this song. Wife: No, but it's Adele. Me: I thought it was a gateway. Groan and a pained face from the wife. I just smiled triumphantly.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
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What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?

Oh no! My arch nemesis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/craftynoodle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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