A very bare market
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartianGlassner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?

Investigator

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut

But I heard they were under cutting everyone

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B0B0oo7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for Β£2 each...

Or 3 for a Pfizer!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samuelh1996_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...

...she was a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hover-lovecraft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.

Her: What can I do for you?

Me: I'm looking for a date.

Her: Oh, what kind of dates?

Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliscor_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market

I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canyuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife didn’t like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.

She said it was a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoWelsch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market

Ideal

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickfingersjr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?

Getting battered

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.

"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catillionaire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.

I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Market research.
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?

He loves Tibet.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..

.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.

Well, finders kippers.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilackan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The stock market is confusing for me but

It makes cents for someone else

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.

I was disturbing the peas.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.

He said, β€œYou’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMikeLeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.

They seemed a little fishy.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falafel_hotdog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...

I told them β€œ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalfBakedPotato84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market

They just lost their Focus

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinpineapplepin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.

The steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicyPotato21
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?

Elon Musk.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it β€œResponsibly.”

Advertising slogan will be a doddle: β€œPlease drink Responsibly.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
With market going into recession

Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruh-sick
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisher’s market.

Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins

I think they called them airpods

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HJMW08
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.

Then you’ll have a little bit of company.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market

This is going to make a killing

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kjpunch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to market his design for an invisible aeroplane.

I can’t see it taking off.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat

it's chewy

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bibs4353
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody should market a beer called β€œOccasionally”.

So when asked, I can say, β€œI only drink occasionally”.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.

They all say the product is remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Found at a local World Market
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamderber
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.

At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market

He said, β€œWell it’s crashing on course right now.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KugelBlitzSparks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..

... Mainly Spread markets.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market

I should have bought asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TSRshiku
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Is there an underground, black-market for toilet paper?

A "Brown Market?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song

#BUYBUYBUY

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The stock market probably do better in the winter...

More people have colds = more people eating soup.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontb3jelous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Hydroponic herb growers are the next big thing in the stock market!

Thyme is money.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klatkasalowa5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a real nice vendor at a farmer's market, he was promoting this.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megabits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report

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