A very bare market
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︎ Dec 16 2020
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut
But I heard they were under cutting everyone
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for Β£2 each...
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︎ Jan 09 2021
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
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︎ Jan 08 2021
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My wife didnβt like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.
"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"
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︎ Nov 18 2020
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Market research.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
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︎ Sep 10 2020
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I got kicked out of the Farmerβs Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, βYouβre telling me a flea runs this market?!β
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︎ Jul 18 2020
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.
They seemed a little fishy.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
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︎ Mar 17 2020
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...
I told them β be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!β
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︎ Jul 18 2020
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market
They just lost their Focus
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︎ May 31 2020
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.
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︎ May 27 2020
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it βResponsibly.β
Advertising slogan will be a doddle: βPlease drink Responsibly.β
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︎ May 30 2020
With market going into recession
Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?
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︎ May 23 2020
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisherβs market.
Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.
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︎ May 24 2020
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins
I think they called them airpods
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︎ May 18 2020
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.
Then youβll have a little bit of company.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Iβm ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market
This is going to make a killing
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︎ Apr 25 2020
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
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︎ Apr 24 2020
My friend is trying to market his design for an invisible aeroplane.
I canβt see it taking off.
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︎ Dec 07 2019
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Somebody should market a beer called βOccasionallyβ.
So when asked, I can say, βI only drink occasionallyβ.
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︎ Jun 28 2018
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.
They all say the product is remarkable.
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Found at a local World Market
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︎ Aug 06 2019
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isnβt Friday the thirteen... yikes!
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market
He said, βWell itβs crashing on course right now.β
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..
... Mainly Spread markets.
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmerβs market
I should have bought asparagus
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︎ Jun 21 2019
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?
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︎ Mar 08 2020
Is there an underground, black-market for toilet paper?
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︎ Mar 13 2020
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song
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︎ Feb 29 2020
The stock market probably do better in the winter...
More people have colds = more people eating soup.
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Hydroponic herb growers are the next big thing in the stock market!
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
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︎ Oct 23 2019
I met a real nice vendor at a farmer's market, he was promoting this.
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︎ Aug 07 2017
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