Manakin Skywalker
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnPhil
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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So, if you put Arlington County in Virginia together with Washington, D.C.,

Could that area be called AC/DC?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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If Virginia wore a New Jersey what did Delaware?

I don’t know, Alaska. (I’ll ask her)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-TownDarin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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There once was a girl named Virginia

They called her Virgin for short... But not for long!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.

Except here, they’re in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.

I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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What do you call a redditor from the west?

West virginia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ass-Ender55
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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My friend asked if we could see the bay while we were in Virginia

I told him he could have Chesapeake of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordoFallo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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West Virginia Capital Building Fire

Took out the whole trailer park. Library too. Both books are gone. Wife wasn’t done coloring one of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baddad19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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The USA turns 241 years old this July 4th...

... which means that it will go back to being indivisible

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soxman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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West Virginia isn't just a place; it's a state of mines
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charles32915
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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My dad's starting a new dating service for people who live in Eastern Virginia

He's going to call it Chesapeake BAE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gopperman
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2015
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Did you hear about the midget from West Virginia?

My dad called me up one day, and started to deliver this one to me as if it was something he had actually heard on the radio.

"So I heard on the radio that there was midget in West Virginia that got arrested for giving oral favors to his sister... Apparently, he didn't know that it was illegal to munch kin."

I hung up on him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mostlyharmless27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2013
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Willis Carrier invented air conditioning....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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President Obama's 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege β€” well, it's my privilege β€” actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

[from NPR -- http://www.npr.org/2016/11/23/503178220/president-obamas-2016-turkey-pardon-dad-jokes-the-definitive-list?utm_source=facebook.com

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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What state has the least amount of babies?

Virginia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadow31802
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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My father was always tasteless...

Know what they do to celebrate Halloween in West Virginia?

Pump Kin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvlpdillon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2013
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Dad Joke, graduate school edition

I recently got accepted into Virginia Tech's graduate program. For those who don't know, their mascot is the "Hokie". This past Sunday, Dad looks at me and states, "Well at least they have a really well known fight song." "Um...I'm not sure what it is, haven't heard it yet." He then proceeds to start singing the Hokie Pokie, and begins laughing hysterically, to the groan of the whole family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onlytounsubscribe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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Dad jokes about our recent car ride

My Dad drove a full 9 hour car ride with me from Virginia to Georgia

Me: I'm tired. I didn't get any sleep during the ride

Dad: I DID!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AGMarasco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2014
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Dadjoked by my fiance the other day in the car...

For reference, I live in Virginia. Our state tree is the dogwood.

"There's a lot of our state tree growing wild here."

"I hear that its bark is worse than its bite."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marrosaur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2014
🚨︎ report
President Obama's 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege β€” well, it's my privilege β€” actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report

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