I heard there was a major pile up at the dog track today...

Bitches be trippin'. šŸ˜

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mikethelabguy
šŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2021
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Joe Biden's dog, Major, was kicked out for biting a staffer. I guess you could say he was...

...impooched.

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šŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

šŸ‘︎ 86
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šŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Help!

Iā€™m sorry if this is against the rules, but Iā€™m planning a Bowie themed dinner for my husbands birthday. The best I can come up with is Major Tom yum soup and Hashes to Hashes and maybe Diamond Hot Dogs.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/SilverBayonet
šŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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The wrong dog was invited to the wedding

It was a major faux paw

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/chagheill
šŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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I think I have made the greatest dad joke to ever be told

I was on training hike with a bunch of my buddies last year for a major trek we were taking that summer. We were hiking Stone Mountain in Georgia starting about the time the park opened. When we had all geared up, we set off to hike the mountain a few times. When we got to the base of the trail, there was a cop there stopping people for going up. Someone asked what was wrong. The cop replied, "There are three rabid dogs on the mountain, we have closed the trail until we can contain them." My friend, really disappointed that we couldnt go up just yet, asked when the trail would be open again. The cop replied, "I don't know sir, the dogs don't really have sense of time or schedules." Without even hesitating, I said, "I guess they aren't watch dogs." The cop was stunned into silence, every single one of my friends yelled their groans. I was 17, and I had to check that I wasnt a father

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Weeberz
šŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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