Why didn't the chef graduate culinary school?

He failed the main course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....

I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.

The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I took a lobster out for dinner

When he saw the main course, he sure looked steamed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luxara-VI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I had to eat dessert for dinner

Because the main course was so off-pudding

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirillsimin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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The waiter came to our table.

He said, "Can I interest either of you with a main?"

I said, "Yes, of course."

Two minutes later he came back with a lion mask on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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My sister asked me, while looking at her menu, "Where are the sides?"

I replied, "Usually next to the main course."

She was not amused. I giggled for 20 minutes. And texted several friends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnShimmy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Heard this one at a temple in my city

Yesterday I was at a Thai Buddhist temple in my city. The secondary meditation instructor was just chatting with the group a bit before things began. He was explaining to me that on Sundays the temple has language classes. Someone else asked if he spoke Thai, he then explained to us that he didn't complete all the courses and considers himself.......A Thai School Drop out.

I laughed so much harder than I should have at this, mainly because I had been trying to think of some dadjokes earlier that day. Universe provided.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceJudge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
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A love story

There was a little boy who absolutely loved tractors, so for his 3rd birthday, his father bought him a little toy one. The boy thought this was the best toy he had ever gotten, and ignored all his other gifts to focus on the tractor, pushing it around the lounge whenever he got the chance, making tractor noises etc.

As the boy grows a little bit older, he comes to his 10th birthday, when his dad says "Alright son, you're a little older now, so here you go" before giving him a push-along ride-on tractor for their backyard. The boy thinks this is even better than his now quite old toy tractor, and is taking days off school and everything just to ride around the house and neighbourhood on his push-along tractor.

He gets a little older again, and lo and behold, it's now his 18th birthday. His dad comes up to him during the party and says "Ok son, you're a man now, so here you go" before unveiling a fully functional tractor for his son. "Wow, thanks Dad, this is amazing!" says the son, before taking it for a quick test drive. The tractor becomes his main transport, as he goes to the grocery store and just generally cruises in his brand new tractor.

He decides to take the tractor on it's first proper outing, and goes into the middle of nowhere, with no cell service or house to be seen for miles, and the tractor of course breaks down. It takes him a while to get in touch with AAA and his Dad to come and help him out, so he decides after that experience that maybe it would be a better idea to invest in a car than a tractor after all.

Lo and behold, a few years later, the now adult son is driving down the same road in his new car, although there's now a house there that is engulfed in flames! A lady comes out, screaming "Help! Help! Call 911, my baby is trapped inside!" The man simply stops and says "It's ok, mam, I've got this." He takes in a massive gulp of air, and the entire fire just disappears! The lady says "Wow, that's amazing! How did you do that?!" before the man responds with "Well, you see mam, I'm an ex tractor fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatchyJosh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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The time my Dad went above and beyond the call of duty, at a formal dinner party

Picture this.

A fancy Christmas dinner party at his new wife's opulent, sandstone estate house. Plates are being cleared from the lengthy, mahogony table that seats the fourteen well-to-do guests, the main course having just finished. All have feasted gloriously on our Christmas fare.

My Dad, playing the good host, picks up two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and proceeds to do a round of the table, chatting amiably with everyone as he circles. Those whose glasses are less than 90% full, he proceeds to top-up. I am sitting in the very centre of the long table, seated directly opposite a very well off lady in her early sixties, by the name of Margaret. My dad, having just topped off my glass, is now standing directly behind me.

This older woman, full of grace and charm, looks to my Dad and says, "Thank you so much for this glorious meal, John. It's been simply divine."

My Dad, "Not at all, Margaret, not at all. Could I charge your glass?"

Margaret, "Oh, no no, thank you. I've got the bottle in front of me!"

My Dad, quick of wit, and with a sneaky - yet charming - grin on his face, responds, "Ah, well, better that than a frontal lobotomy!"

I've never been more proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolloxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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Had a string of dad jokes at dinner today

First I should preface that the restaurant we went to had a sucker with every meal. They also had a plate of pickles for appetizers. So naturally we got some pickles and fries for appetizers and I ordered some beer battered fish sticks for my main meal. But for some reason the main course came out before the appetizers, so there was some debate as to whether or not they should even bring out the appetizers.

Me: "Sounds like we're in a bit of a pickle."

Others: Groans.

Meal continues and naturally people are curious how everybody's food is.

Friend: "Tabbou, how is your food?"

Me: "I don't know... It takes kinda... fishy..."

Friend: "Tabbouuuuu..."

Finally, as we're getting out our chairs to leave, my friend holds up her sucker and asks, "Does anybody want this?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm a real sucker for them."

Friend: "Tabou, stop."

Other random customers sitting near us, "Hey, you're a sucker for these? Take ours!"

I scored four suckers tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabbou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
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Cracked a dad joke on the most appropriate day: my dad's birthday

Preface: My dad, mom, and I went out to eat mexican food. Like we usually do, we order a huge platter of nachos and demolish the whole thing. Surely we are full even before our main course arrives. We all ordered combination platters that consisted of, burritos, enchiladas, and tacos which were overflowing with lettuce that no one except for my mom wanted to eat. My mom kept on nagging my dad and I to eat the lettuce so that it would lighten us up and make us feel less full:

Mom (for the 10th time): You boys should eat your lettuce. Come on now.

Me: Mom lettuce be!

Immediately my mom cringed and groaned, while my dad, after repeating the joke, gave a hearty chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadsspaghetti
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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Why didn't the chef graduate from his culinary class?

He didn't finish the main course

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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[At the restaurant] Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: I understand. And for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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[At the restaurant] Her: This isn’t working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Her: This isn’t working between us. For starters, I’m sick of your stupid jokes.

Me: I see. And for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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[At dinner] Her: I don’t think it’s going to work out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Ok. And for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your stupid jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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