I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
He replied, “Can you play far far away?”
I Scream - aaaarrrhhhhh...
Even better when actually a true story!
I wish it was a whittle faster.
I told him"If I were learning a dead language, I'd be Latin you down."
...because my teacher is sensei-tional!
Co-workers were talking about going to a beer tasting this weekend. Here is how the conversation unfolded.
Coworker 1: They are show casing pale ales this time.
Coworker 2: When is their ales and stouts tasting?
CW1: Oh it was last weekend.
CW2: Damn, a stout sounds so good right now.
Me: Man, sounds like you really miss-stout.
Deafening silence.
Dad: what is the lunchmeat that tastes like hot dogs?
Me: bologna?
Dad: this isn't bologna, son, but a serious question.
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
I just don't know why !
I told her she would roux the day.
(sorry bad English)
He said “Fine, suit yourself.”
I learned next to nothing.
..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '
But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.
White vans
A student told me that today!
Also, thank you to this community! I get a lot of great material for my Joke of the Day and it has helped me connect with my students through distance learning.
It's a touchy subject
I learned Heinz site is not always 20/20.
It was a place of higher learning.
I am learning how to Excel in spreadsheets in my computer science class
I told her she didn’t have to finish her dinner.
She replied, “No dad, my name is full!”
She’s learning!
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
It's a step by step guide
I always learned it this way: “TB or not TB That is the congestion Consumption be done about it? Of cough of cough”
Sign Language
I think my parents will be so proud when they learn I'm a Cardi-B-ologist.
then you're a simpson.
It’s a real combing-of-age story.
I keep telling them that it’s a radical language
Mostly beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
He's going to learn how to count or spell.
Then I learned sign language
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
Well, I don't think a mountain can fly, but you learn new things every day.
Borrowed from r/Awwducational so title is a fact
How else will you learn fission.
Dog 2 - What in the world is Moo Moo? Dog 3 - I'm learning a foreign language!
1st cow: What do you mean, baaaaa? Don't you mean moooo?
2nd cow: I'm learning a foreign language.
(Once read that in some joke book)
Stupid firemen
Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"
Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"
Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"
We both looked at each other and snickered like children.
Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*
My baby cousin was learning his french numbers during quarentine and he got quite good. They really cinq in
Trouble-soothing.
My son loves this one with online learning. I only had to explain to him what troubleshooting was 4 times!
I learned next to nothing.
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
