Jokes on him he won't be gaining anything
Atrophy
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
See food!
With some hair of the Doge that Bitcoin
I lost 200 lbs of ugly fat in only 3 months.
I got a divorce.
Trans-fat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
https://preview.redd.it/etjneuh87qe61.jpg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a43ed23f6164c205e69659f2949861fff21d7c0f
It’s called Joe Lean.
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 12:22 pm on September 23rd of last year.
But I am at a loss for words.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
A mass murder
Would you call that a Lego-loss?
Onlookers could tell she was at loss for words.
They just ransomware.
Apparently COVID-19 causes olfactory loss
The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.
When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious. She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?” The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!” “Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?” “Denephew”
Or at least that what page 137 figure II part B of my middle school science textbook said.
At my high school there’s a tradition for the seniors to get sweatshirts with punny names on the back. I’ve already thought of mine but my friend is at a loss. Her name is Lierin, accent on the second syllable, pronounced “Lee-air-in”. any ideas?
Me: Is it contagious?
Doctor: Is what contagious?
I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.
I forgot.
An old friend of mine decided one day that he would have a go a keeping chickens. So he bought a hen house and his first chicken along with very handsome Cockerell Three weeks later his chicken had laid a clutch of eggs and the old hatched out successfully but one little chick just kept growing and growing. He took it to the vet who assured him that although rare for that particular breed there was nothing to worry about After two years this chicken was five foot nine and weighed in at ten stone three pounds. So my mate had what he thought was a brilliant idea. He hitched the chicken to the front of his car and decided he would train the chicken to pull him in the car. This went on for about a month and my mate had saved a fortune in petrol costs. Then one day as he was travelling to work the hitching rope snapped and the chicken was away up the motorway never to be seen again. My mate was distraught and stuck in the middle lane. The police eventually came out and said "What's the problem Sir?". My mate, by now in floods of tears because of his loss said "My big hens gone!"
She left me at a total loss for words.
He ALAMO'st forgot.
I can’t believe Tarragon.
Long ago there was a village under the sea. In that village lived a collection of fish, lot's of different kinds, along with Ted the strong octopus, and they all lived happily. Near the village, there was a cave whose entrance was blocked by a large stone, and above it, there was an inscription saying “When real danger arrives, open the cave, and you will all be saved”.
One day the village was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. The fish rush to the cave and try to push the boulder aside, but it is too large for them, so they go to Ted the strong octopus to ask for help, but Ted says “No, this danger is not big enough for us to need the cave, we will be fine without it.”. The fish begged and argued, but there was no convincing Ted, so they had to fight the piranhas without whatever was in the cave, and against all odds, they managed to defeat them with minimal losses, and all agreed that Ted was right.
After a fair bit of time, the village was attacked again by a bed of moray eels. Again the fish rushed to the cave to try to push the boulder aside, and again they failed, for it was too large for them, so they rush to Ted to ask for help. “No,” Ted said again “this danger is not as big as you think it is. We will manage just fine without the contents of the cave. Leave that for a bigger threat.”. And so the fish asked and begged, Ted, told them that all 8 of his hands were tied, he wouldn't help with moving the boulder, so they ended up fighting the morays, and to everyone's surprise, they actually managed to save the village. All again reluctantly agreed that although a deus ex machina would have been good, they didn't end up needing one.
Time passed and life was normal in the village until a Shiver of Sharks was spotted in the distance. Everyone panicked, and, knowing that they couldn't move the boulder alone, they rushed to Ted. “Again, the danger is not big enough, we will survive,” said Ted, and no matter what they did they couldn't change his mind, so they all rushed to the boulder in a desperate attempt to move it. As they were giving up, a very old fish that everyone trusted said “Do not worry, for Ted is wise, and he knows when the danger is real, and he knows when to use the contents of the cave. Have faith that if he says we will be fine, we will survive this, and when octopush comes to shove, the cave will open.”.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
I handed her the dictionary.
But I just couldn't get the message across.
Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Mostly because it would apply to a wide audience.
But she couldn't put it pasture.
