A snail goes to a car dealership and wants to buy a car.

He finds one he likes and says to the salesman: β€œI will buy this car as long as you paint a giant letter β€œS” on the hood, the roof, the trunk and all four doors.”

The salesman says: β€œokay, we can do that, but why?”

Snail: β€œwhen I drive down the street I want people to say β€˜look at that S-car-go!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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My grandpa was always so quick

I remember one time walking up his driveway while he was tinkering on his 2001 Buick Lesabre and I jokingly said "Grandpa, when are you going to get a viper?" He quickly replied "Oh I already have two!" Puzzled, I said "what?" he leaned over his hood and picked up two long plastic packages and showed them to me saying, "look! two vindshield vipers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bastachsama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
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