Bit of a long one but this was 6 years ago i punned at my sister for an hour reddit.com/gallery/k2ad0t
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adam10boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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A long time ago, I translated pre Classical Greek literature into Braille.

It feels like ancient history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I see we're doing long ones - he's one of mine from a while ago... Presenting: Boris the Horse. /r/Jokes/comments/9c7h87/…
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,

"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.

They were Wright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.

She did not hold Up well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortalfloater
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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It was a long time ago, a different time, when Bach wrote his music. I wonder what life was like Bach then 🎹
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Free-Author
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If you’re Russian when you’re walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MPT1313
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.

It's old butt gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byebyebyecycle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone a at sea.

He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.

He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.

The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.

Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.

It’s a small world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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A long time ago you could make decent money from the copper mines...

Now if you had one you'd be making pennies.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Kamehameheiiiiil. (OC, 9gag logo cause i uploaded it there a long time ago and lost it)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryzexen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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A tennis coach was arrested not too long ago.

The charges were on racketeering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Drives by railroad crossing: a train came through here not to long ago. It’s tracks are still here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420rubberducky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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I lost my voice two days ago. How long will it last?

I can’t say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mapkar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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An exchange I remember seeing in a cartoon or movie a long time ago

I don't remember what it's from, but I do remember that the scene involved a squad of soldiers with their sergeant coming across the enemy, and it went like this:

Sergeant: Fire at will!
Private: Uh, who's Will?
Sergeant: Just shoot, you idiot!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorRobotnik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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A rockslide took out a concert not long ago.

The Rolling Stones made quite an appearance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I screen'd this a long time ago because I was so proud
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Kyri
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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I made this a long time ago, I think you guys will appreciate it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWonderland18
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2013
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If I had known that this subreddit existed, I would've shared the tale of Brown Paper Bart with you long ago.

A man is riding his horse through the desert, and, well, he starts to get thirsty. He sees a small town off in the distance, so he sets off in that direction to get some water for his horse and some whiskey for hisself.

Well, as he gets into that little town he starts to notice something peculiar. Not a soul is out. Sun's setting, but still plenty of light. Water in the horse troughs tells him it ain't a ghost town, but folks ain't comin' out for some reason.

Now, as soon as he turns onto the town's main street, he sees a soberin' sight; the sheriff, on a ladder, hammering the last nail into a brand new gallows. He sidles his horse on up to the sheriff and says, "Pardon me sheriff. I don't mean to pry, but pray tell, who're them gallows fer?"

The sheriff looks around, surprised to see someone out. He steps down, takes off his hat and scratches the back of his head thoughtfully, before replying, "Well, I reckon you must be a stranger in these parts. I reckon then that you ain't never heard of Brown Paper Bart. Anyway, we're lynchin' him come sunrise."

"Brown Paper Bart? I reckon not, sheriff. That's a mighty peculiar name, pray tell, whaddaya call him Brown Paper Bart fer?"

"Wayill, I reckon we call him Brown Paper Bart on account 'a the fact that everything he wears is made a' brown paper. His hat's made a' brown paper, his boots is made a' brown paper. His chaps is made a' brown paper, his neckerchief's made a brown paper. Heck dang shoot, even his lunch bag is made a' brown paper!"

The man looks at the sheriff a moment, perplexed, before replying, "Well, sheriff, I reckon that's a mighty peculiar thing for a man to do, but that don't explain these brand new gallows. Pray tell, what're you lynchin' Brown Paper Bart fer?"

[Insert a dad-length pause here.]

"...Rustlin'."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malenkylizards
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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It was Mother's Day, long ago...

We were having cake to celebrate Mother's Day with my Mom. My Dad decides to ask us:

"Mom's pretty great. You know what she'd be called if she were president?"

"No."

"BABEraham Lincoln."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuanYuber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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My Dad, a long time ago

I was helping my Dad unload a trailer at a house he had just bought. Guy from across the street came over and was doing a bunch of random talking. At some point he said he had been in World War II. My Dad said "That's odd. I was in World War II and I don't remember seeing you there."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobT21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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My dad told me this on a long car ride years ago.

>Dad: We just ran over a dickfer. >Me: What's a dickfer? >Dad: Peein'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robotimus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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At the Tulsa Zoo not too long ago.

I was at the zoo with my girlfriend, and we sat down and watched a show for seals and sea lions. The zoo keeper asked "Now what is one thing you can tell me about the California sea lion?" I raised my hand, she pointed to me, to which I answered "in California, we just call them sea lions."

I then got the "are you serious" stare from the zoo lady. GF groaned and hit me. Worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregrawry
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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A long time ago, I translated pre-classical Greek literature into Braille.

It feels like ancient history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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My dad told me this joke a long time ago

a long time ago Dad: "this joke"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Max_The_Milkman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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