Lolita Syndrome Puns

I've been dating the same woman for the past 9 months, who is the same age as I am (early 40s), and who has 2 daughters from a previous marriage. The eldest one is 17 and by most standards what I would consider very attractive with a beautiful face and extremely attractive figure.

I've never in my life been attracted to women younger than me (well, none that were more than just a few years younger than me anyway), and certainly never any children of women I've dated. I'm just NOT into that. However, over the past 2 or 3 months.. I've noticed a growing interest in this woman's daughter, and she has seemed to have an interest in me as well; you know the usual - giggling, playful flirting, a genuine interest in how I am doing etc. Even up til now it has been nothing more than harmless playing. She is a naturally outgoing girl and nobody has given any thought about her seemingly excessive interest in me. She's exceptionally mature for her age (intellectually and personality wise) and is a straight-A student, and for the most part very unlike most girls that I know that are of that age. She carries herself much more like a woman in her mid-twenties than I would say a teenager. Perhaps that is part of the reason I am so attracted to her.

Just for clarification - I have NO intention or interest in pursuing ANYTHING with this girl, besides the fact that it would be illegal but also incredibly wrong (and downright creepy) - but I need some outside advice on how to handle this.

It seems that lately I just can't seem to stop thinking about this girl and I've even caught myself staring at her at various times - a few of which she has noticed, usually with a smile in return. I care very much for the woman I'm dating and we're even beginning to talk about serious plans of moving in together and so forth, but I'm at the point that I can no longer dismiss these unusual feelings I seem to have towards her daughter. They are not sexual or deviant in nature by any means...but for some reason I have a compelling and strong attraction to her. I really don't want this to wreck the relationship I'm in with this girl's mother as we have a substantial investment in each other and our relationship.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What do I do, just ignore it, bite my tongue and do nothing? I certainly don't think I can talk to the girls mother other than to express a concern in her daughter's overly enthusiastic interest in me. The only other option I ca

HELLO EVERYONE!

I'm liquidating a large majority of my collection because I spent too much on Christmas presents and need to afford this months rent.

I'm matching below Discogs lowest current US sale price of similar grading. All records are shipped securely in a Whiplash mailer, outside of the sleeve (if opened), with mofi inners and 3mil poly outers. Shipping $5 in US for any amount of records. Orders over $40 get insurance included. First come, first serve (no "dibs" without payment).

I've had a few people offer Venmo and bank transfer, but I only accept Paypal for US buyers. I typically don't ship internationally except for certain exceptions.

Now, onto the good stuff:

BARGAIN BIN (Up to $20 each)

Acid Witch – To Magic, Sex And Gore (NM-/NM-) $15

Adrian Younge Con Ghostface Killah – Dodici Ragioni Per Morire (Strumentale) (NM-/NM-) $15

Apolo – Live In Stockholm (NM-/NM-) $10

Arre! Arre! – Tell Me All About Them (NM-/NM-) $15

Autopsy – Mauled To Death (2012 Unmastered Version) (VG+/NA) $5

Bee And Flower – What's Mine Is Yours (NM-/NM-) $14

Big Brother & The Holding Company – Cheap Thrills (VG/VG) $6

Billy Andrusco And The Hollywood Hits Orchestra – Hollywood Hits (VG/VG) $5

Blisters – Off My Back $4

Brujeria – ¡Machetazos! (VG+/VG+) $15 SOLD

catbeats – Closing Hour At The Cat Café (NM-/NM-) $12 SOLD

Chicano Batman – Joven Navegante (NM-/VG+) $8

[Chicano Batman, Caloncho – Háblame](https://www.discogs.com/release/13661319-Chicano-Batm

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Week one of the much anticipated New York trial of Jeffrey Epstein’s ex-lover saw her big-money defence lawyers trying to outmuscle an underpowered prosecution

By John Sweeney | Link to article

The lady in the white mask is quite the gracious host, mwah-mwahing her pals, hugs-a-go-go, writing thoughtful little Post-it notes, blessing her set with her exclusive attention.

Only this is not a gathering of socialites over canapés, but a child sexual abuse trial; her friends are fancy lawyers, and the people who once served and allegedly serviced her and her ex-lover Jeffrey Epstein, body and soul, seem to be in no mood for mwah-mwah.

Welcome to the cocktail party from hell, or to give the proceedings their proper name, the trial of the United States of America v Ghislaine Maxwell. Staged in the grand US federal court building in a half-empty Manhattan, it is a grimly fascinating study, if you side with the defence, in false memory syndrome and gold-digging.

Or, if you favour the prosecution, how power and money robbed a whole series of victims – each more child than woman – of their innocence and pretty much got away with it.

Until, perhaps, now.

Maxwell’s defence lawyer Bobbi Sternheim pooh-poohed the prosecution as nonsense from the get-go, grabbing the best zinger of the opening bout: “Ever since Eve has been blamed for tempting Adam with an apple, women have been blamed for things men have done… She is not Jeffrey Epstein. She is not anything like Jeffrey Epstein.”

Her lawyers are good: they swagger well for the big money she is paying them. The prosecution are younger, thinner, paler, mostly women. Their prose is flatter.

To set the scene, here is the backstory to the trial. Maxwell is the daughter of the late Robert Maxwell – mad, rich and a monster who abused everyone around him, including his ninth child, Ghislaine.

Robert Maxwell fell off his yacht, the Lady Ghislaine, on 5 November 1991. Disgrace followed when it emerged that the tycoon had stolen about £400m from the Mirror Group’s pensioners.

Overnight, Maxwell lost her access to private jets and helicopters and limousines and fancy dinner parties. She fled London to New York and found Epstein.

He was the second monster in her life. She got it all back – the private jets and helicopters and limousines and fancy dinner parties with Bill

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

BamBOO!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE!

I'm liquidating a large majority of my collection because I spent too much on Christmas presents and need to afford next months rent.

I'm matching below Discogs lowest current US sale price of similar grading. All records are shipped securely in a Whiplash mailer, outside of the sleeve (if opened), with mofi inners and 3mil poly outers. Shipping $5 in US for any amount of records. Orders over $40 get insurance included. First come, first serve (no "dibs" without payment).

I've had a few people offer Venmo and bank transfer, but I only accept Paypal for US buyers. I typically don't ship internationally except for certain exceptions.

Now, onto the good stuff:

DIGITAL DOLLAR BIN (All records in this category are $1 each)

16 / Treadwell – Hate / Pain Well Dressed (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Belt Of Vapor – Buck (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Berry – Everything, Compromised (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Bette Midler – The Rose - The Original Soundtrack Recording (VG/VG) SOLD

Boys / Magic Potion – Rabbits / Rest Yr Skull (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Carl Orff : Michael Tilson Thomas Conducts The Cleveland Orchestra – Carmina Burana (VG/VG) SOLD

Crappy Dracula – Deer John (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Das Kapital – Ben, We're Jealous (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Dogbowl – I Am Drunk Every Night Because Of The Blue Fur Bosom Girl (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Eamon Fogarty – Progressive Bedroom (NM-/NM-) SOLD

Godswounds – Death To The Babyboomers (NM-/NM-) SOLD

BARGAIN BIN (Up to $20 each)

[Acid Witch – To

Do your worst!

HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE!

I'm liquidating a large majority of my collection for Christmas presents and rent.

I'm matching below Discogs lowest current US sale price of similar grading. All records are shipped securely in a Whiplash mailer, outside of the sleeve (if opened), with mofi inners and 3mil poly outers. Shipping $5 in US for any amount of records. Orders over $40 get insurance included. First come, first serve (no "dibs" without payment).

I've had a few people offer Venmo and bank transfer, but I only accept Paypal for US buyers. I typically don't ship internationally except for certain exceptions.

Now, onto the good stuff:

DIGITAL DOLLAR BIN (All records in this category are $1 each)

16 / Treadwell – Hate / Pain Well Dressed (NM-/NM-)

Belt Of Vapor – Buck (NM-/NM-)

Berry – Everything, Compromised (NM-/NM-)

Bette Midler – The Rose - The Original Soundtrack Recording (VG/VG)

Boys / Magic Potion – Rabbits / Rest Yr Skull (NM-/NM-)

Carl Orff : Michael Tilson Thomas Conducts The Cleveland Orchestra – Carmina Burana (VG/VG)

Crappy Dracula – Deer John (NM-/NM-)

Das Kapital – Ben, We're Jealous (NM-/NM-)

Dogbowl – I Am Drunk Every Night Because Of The Blue Fur Bosom Girl (NM-/NM-)

Eamon Fogarty – Progressive Bedroom (NM-/NM-)

Godswounds – Death To The Babyboomers (NM-/NM-)

BARGAIN BIN (Up to $20 each)

A.A. Bondy – American Hearts (NM-/NM-) $12 SOLD

[Acid Witch – To Magic, Sex And Gore](https://www.discogs.com/release/17566987-Acid-Wi

When I got home, they were still there.