What lion will never roar?
I started signing my pet lion up to join the circus...
But found there were too many hoops to jump through.
I almost sang The Lion Sleeps tonight
I was just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
Why are lions such braggards?
Because they live in prides.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was Gladiator..
A lion, a zebra, and a sloth walk into a gym. The personal trainer approaches them and asks, "What are your fitness goals?" The lion replies, "I want to improve my speed and agility for hunting." The zebra says, "I'd like to work on my endurance to outrun predators."
The sloth sighs, "I just need to learn to hang in there"
My 6 year old says he came up with this one "What kind of lion is Desperate Dan afraid of?"
What do you get when you put a lion in a cage with a horse?
“The Mane Event”
Credit: my 6-year-old daughter and myself!
What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?
A sea lion has an extra electron.
Did you hear Russell Crowe’s wife was eaten by a lion?
What part of a newspaper does a male lion read?
If the lion sleeps in the jungle tonight, where does the mummy sleep?
In his crypt tonight
It's Three Doors Down from the peaceful village
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Did you hear about all of the hidden meanings in the lion king?
It was full of simbalism!
What is the most duplicitous animal in the wild?
My Uncle’s a lion tamer, when he went bankrupt they took nearly everything,
but at least he’s still got his pride
Lions can’t wait for June.
What’s the difference between seals and sea lions?
People think I’m crazy to travel with a group of lions
My ex-wife ditched me because I was going a bit bald.
I didn't care anyway, it was hair loss, not mine.
How do you kill a circus?
What do you get when you mix a group of fish with a group of lions?
What did Maximus Decimus Meridius say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, because he's Gladiator.
Everyone was obsessed with the lion with good hair
I’d say he was the mane event
Why did the leopard put on a tiger's costume?
So he wouldn't be spotted
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!
My grandfather had the heart of a lion
and a lifetime ban from the Cleveland zoo
What do you call a man with the heart of a lion?
what do professional sprinters eat?
Lawyers at the zoo puns
Hi all,
I am hosting an event for lawyers at our local zoo and need some punny ideas for the event name. Please help. Thanks!
This has my seal of approval
Why did the lion cross the savannah?
To get to the other pride.
What do you say when you see a Japanese cheesecake with lion drawn on it?
How often do people feel the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”?
It’s just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
The urge to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is always close.
It's just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What did Spartacus say to the lion after the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
How do you kill a circus?
You go straight for the juggler...
Say what you want about my grandfather, but he had the heart of a lion
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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