I lent a girl my umbrella yesterday

now the amount of girls I made wet this year is -1. :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amossycar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Lent is the best time of the year to run a marathon.

Because that's when you fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndGall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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What’s Rick Astley giving up for lent?

Not you...

Insert rick roll here. Sorry I’m old that used to be a thing, Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I was considering giving up puns for Lent, but then I thought... not so fast!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punocchio1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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Lent my running shoes to my wife today.

Guess you could say we're sole mates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/only1benod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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I lent my girlfriend $200 and after 3 years we broke up she payed me back exactly $200

I guess you can say I lost interest in that relationship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexbeltran43
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Woohoo lent! go go go lent! Yay lent!

Dads gave it up for lent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I lent my friend my gigantic grandfather clock for a show and tell.

He owes me big time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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A friend lent me his watch but said he'd kill me if I don't return it soon.

Now I'm living on borrowed time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veacue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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I lent money to a blind man the other day, bug now I’m a bit worried

He said he’ll pay me back when he sees me again

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brentobot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Lent my Dad my GoPro, he just sent me this picture - "Is this how I wear it?"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mafeumatty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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I'm giving up checking my dryer for Lent.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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A freak in the sheets.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7sterling
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I was going to give up lunch meat for lent...

but I just couldn't quit cold turkey!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knumb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
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Typically you can hear laughter from most jokes, but beware of jokes with bad puns...

They are sigh-lent but Dadly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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To the person who stole my copy of mircosoft office

I will find you, you have my word

πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syter6
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
There should be a holiday where we remember all the borrowed items we’ve given out that have never been returned.

We’ll call it β€œLent”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?

They fast during Lent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Sean Connery's doctor told him...

...that it wasn't healthy to keep eating entire eggs, shells and all. "Just give it up for 40 days in the spring, and I bet you'll feel better."

The actor took his advice, and returned after 40 days.

"How was it?" the doctor asked.

Sean Connery smiled. "Eggshell-Lent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarnafein
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Doing the laundry with my roommate when my Dad-skills activated

On the weekends, my roomie and I head to the cleaners to do our laundry. We were folding our clothes and towels away when he commented on how fancy I fold my towels, similar to how some hotels chains have theirs folded. He asked where I learned to fold towels like that when I said "Oh, its just a natural towel-lent of mine"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Left4dinner
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2016
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To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you!

You have my Word!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Vetcher_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You got my word!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheisgod123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
To the guy who stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.

You have my Word!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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