Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Burnley vs Leeds 0-4 FT
Burnley
Bailey Peacock-Farrell, Ben Mee, James Tarkowski, Charlie Taylor, Matthew Lowton, Jack Cork, Ashley Westwood, Dwight McNeil (Johann Gudmundsson), Josh Brownhill, Chris Wood (Ashley Barnes), Matej Vydra (Jay Rodriguez).
Subs: Erik Pieters, Lewis Richards, Will Norris, Jimmy Dunne, Richard Nartey.
Leeds United
Illan Meslier, Pascal Struijk, Diego Llorente, Kalvin Phillips, Ezgjan Alioski, Luke Ayling, Mateusz Klich (Tyler Roberts), Stuart Dallas, Jack Harrison, Raphinha (Ian Poveda-Ocampo), Patrick Bamford (Rodrigo).
Subs: Kiko Casilla, Liam Cooper, Gaetano Berardi, Jack Jenkins, Jamie Shackleton, Leif Davis.
Gerrard lifts SPL Trophy today
Rangers have completed their season without being beaten with 102 points and 100% home record.
Southampton vs Fulham 3-1 FT
Southampton
Alex McCarthy, Jannik Vestergaard, Jack Stephens, Mohammed Salisu, Kyle Walker-Peters, Stuart Armstrong, James Ward-Prowse, Nathan Redmond, Takumi Minamino, Che Adams, Danny Ings.
Subs: Theo Walcott, Fraser Forster, Ibrahima Diallo, Daniel N'Lundulu, Michael Obafemi, Will Ferry, Moussa Djenepo, Nathan Tella, Kayne Ramsay.
Fulham
Alphonse Areola, Tosin Adarabioyo, Joachim Andersen, Ola Aina, Kenny Tete, Josh Onomah, Harrison Reed, André-Frank Zambo Anguissa, Bobby De Cordova-Reid, Fabio Carvalho, Ivan Cavaleiro.
Subs: Denis Odoi, Tim Ream, Michael Hector, Joe Bryan, Aleksandar Mitrovic, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Marek Rodak, Ademola Lookman, Josh Maja.
FA Cup Final
Chelsea vs Leicester 0-1 FT
Chelsea
Kepa Arrizabalaga, Thiago Silva, Antonio Rüdiger, César Azpilicueta, Jorginho, N'Golo Kanté, Marcos Alonso, Reece James, Timo Werner, Mason Mount, Hakim Ziyech.
Subs: Olivier Giroud, Emerson, Kurt Zouma, Ben Chilwell, Christian Pulisic, Kai Havertz, Édouard Mendy, Callum Hudson-Odoi, Billy Gilmour.
Leicester City
Kasper Schmeichel, Jonny Evans, Çaglar Söyüncü, Wesley Fofana, Wilfred Ndidi, Youri Tielemans, Ayoze Perez, Luke Thomas, Timothy Castagne, Jamie Vardy, Kelechi Iheanacho.
Subs: Danny Ward, Wes Morgan, Marc Albrighton, Nampalys Mendy, Ricardo Pereira, Dennis Praet, Daniel Amartey, James Maddison, Hamza Choudhury.
Leicester are FA Cup Winners!!!
Cake in honour of Brendan too
Brighton vs West Ham 1-1 FT
Brighton & Hove Albion
Robert Sanchez, Adam Webster, Dan Burn, Ben White, Yves Bissouma, Steven Alzate, Jakub Moder, Pascal Gross, Danny Welbeck, Leandro Trossard, A
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
