My father, who comes from a long line of clowns, just retired and wants me to continue the family legacy…

I've got some really big shoes to fill!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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The legacy begins. imgur.com/u925nMO
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emaxxspeed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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Dad's friend living up to the legacy at lunch

Sitting at lunch while my dad's complaining that he's had "no food today." His friend pipes up "thats interesting, i've only had yes food today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskirbyman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I used to own a Subaru. I never should’ve gotten rid of it.

I left behind a Legacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asguardia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Dad Jokes

It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at β€œThe CafΓ©,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: β€œParking now, be there in 5.”

β€œDad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.

Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, β€œDad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The CafΓ©.

Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.

β€œHello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. β€œI can’t believe it’s been so long!”

β€œYeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. β€œToo long!”

Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.

After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sullyrr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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When dad died he left me his Subaru.

It was his final Legacy.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Boyfriend asks if I know why Windows is skipping Windows 9 and coming out with Windows 10 instead...

"Because Windows 7 8 9!"

facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/420AmazingDragons
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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The man believed to be the last living carver of Mount Rushmore has died.

His legacy will forever be carved in stone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Dad joke of all dad jokes (found on Tumblr)

I've been making dad jokes for years but my wife and I are expecting our first child and I've finally been making dad jokes while actually being a dad.

When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specifially made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and siad. "do you think they keep these at womb temperature?" I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes.

This is my legacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Isai76
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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Arnold Palmer

I was saddened to hear about the passing of Arnold Palmer recently. I'm not a big golf guy, and while he deserves his legacy as a great golfer, he was also an inventor of some note, and I think he deserves some recognition on that front, too. The story goes that while he was on a golf tour in Turkey, he was having a lot of trouble with sand traps there. On the spot, he invented a new type of pitching wedge. He designed it with a broader face, to open up the sweet spot and help get out of traps faster. Sadly, I don't think that he'll be remembered as the inventor of the open-faced Turkey sand-wedge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amberandemerald
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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My 8yo Son just Dad-joked me...

SON: Dad, what's the second Tron movie Called? ME: Tron Legacy SON: What's the third Tron movie called? ME: I don't know; I'll have to look it up. SON: "I don't know; I'll have to look it up"--that's a pretty high-tech name!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/e3-po
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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My wife made me so proud.

Commercial came on for the new 24 Legacy show.

Wife: You going to watch it?

Me: Not sure. It doesn't have jack in it.

Wife: Nope, it has Black Jack in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DCxMiLK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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Thanks to this sub, I have 250 groan worthy punchlines

Idk how many of you have seen the post that the redditor said they pulled out a dollar (or card) that said otherwise. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to honor that redditor and spread his legacy with the ones in my life. They may very well not see this post, many may have forgotten about their amazing wit already, but I will make sure that "I have a card that says otherwise" lives on http://imgur.com/DQdAVqa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elcielo17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta-way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Motor_Drive64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Candyyyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2017
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If you guys are gonna tell a joke, tell the whole thing. Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

Edit: Whoa! Woke up to so many upvotes! Thank you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alftrazign
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Did you hear about the italian chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato, but it was his thyme to go. I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset - cheese crying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetjune_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Pun-laden remembrances after the death of the Italian chef.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

  • He pasta way.
  • We cannoli do so much.
  • His legacy will become a pizza history.
  • Just proves the old adage, β€œHere today, gone tomato.”
  • How sad that he ran out of thyme.
  • Olive my prayers go to the family.
  • His wife is very upset; cheese still not over it.
  • You never sausage a tragic thing!

https://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/did-you-hear-about-the-italian-chef-who-died/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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