A list of puns related to "Larry Gottheim"
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
Theyβre on standbi
BamBOO!
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
"I hear it's Fox's 25th anniversary. Congratulations!" - Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA), doin' it wrong
With two weeks left on the GOPβs βdestroy the economyβ countdown clock, and just over three before highway funds lapse, Democrats are finally down to brass tacks on questions like: What should we do about this? And, when can we give Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ) an atomic wedgie?
As the wounds from last weekβs manufactured-deadline drama heal, Democrats have begun setting key priorities: How big will the Build Back Better bill be? What can a bill of that size include? His Admiralty Joe Manchin has seemingly accepted that Build Back Better will be larger than the $1.5 trillion topline he laid out as his preference. President Biden has reportedly told other Democrats he thinks he can convince Manchin to support a bill with $2.2 trillion worth of stuff in it, and Manchin hasnβt objected to that characterization. But Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA), the Houseβs top progressive, says members of her caucus have βlittle appetiteβ for a bill smaller than $2.5 trillion. (Weβd note that the average of the billβs $3.5 trillion ceiling and Manchinβs $1.5 trillion floor is $2.5 trillion.)
Having homed in on a topline, Democrats must make strategic and values-based decisions about what to spend it on. With less money to go around, they can either eliminate some Build Back Better proposals, or make more of them temporary and/or smaller, then fight for their renewal in the future. The former option puts important party priorities (like the child tax credit and expanded Medicare benefits) in competition with each other; the latter risks making the programs disappointingly narrow, or vulnerable to expiring, if Republicans take political power and refuse to renew them. Itβs unclear how Democratic leaders will approach this thorny prioritization challenge, though Manchin reportedly prefers fewer programs, fund
I won't be doing that today!
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
Why
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
French/Finnish art
Country/Canadian rap
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Welcome to a new feature called Eye on the Right, tracking right wing extremism and attempts to hold them accountable.
EDIT: ADDED A TLDR IN PINNED COMMENT
Housekeeping:
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##Threats and Security
The Department of Homeland Security released a warning that the nation continues to be threatened by βviolent domestic extremists...emboldenedβ by the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol. The bulletin is a noticeable departure from those issued by the Trump administration, which consistently sought to downplay the danger posed by right-wing agitators.
>βInformation suggests that some ideologically-motivated violent extremists with objections to the exercise of governmental authority and the presidential transition, as well as other perceived grievances fueled by false narratives, could continue to mobilize to incite or commit violence... Long-standing racial and ethnic tensionβincluding opposition to immigrationβhas driven [domestic violent extremist] attacks, including a 2019 shooting in El Paso, Texas that killed 23 people. DHS is concerned these same drivers to violence will remain through early 2021β¦
Lawmakers have continued to face threats since Bidenβs inauguration, mainly posted online and including plots to attack Congressional members during travel to and from the Capitol during the impeachment trial. A group of 32 lawmakers sent a letter to House Speaker Pelosi and Minority Leader McCarthy on Wednesday requesting more flexibility for using their congressional allowances to further secure their district offices. The letter, led by Rep Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ) and Dean Phillips (D-MN), was also signed by Rep. Fred Upton of
... keep reading on reddit β‘Nothing, it just waved
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