These kitties love puns almost as much as napping, and the rise of the proletariat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-NarWallace-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Kitty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Kitty Kitty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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We were eating take-out sushi on the couch last night

And one of our kittens (7mo/f) starts nosing her away aggressively around our feet.

15/f daughter: β€˜Oh kitty, what are you doing?’

Me: β€˜I think she’s fishing.’


Achievement unlocked: my daughter smiled, and didn’t groan, roll her eyes, or whine β€˜Daaaad’.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KravMata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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What do kitties say when they get hurt?

Me-OW

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kkerins86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Why can’t kitties watch r-rated movies?

Too much purrfanity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrscluna
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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From a post that had a vet sign that said "show us ur kitties"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daimonlee58
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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We are almost out of kitty litter, so my cats will make doo with what litter we have imgur.com/scUiBA3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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what’d you do to make this poor kitty so angry?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katiebokan
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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One thing is for certain about the men who invented, built, and flew the world's first successful airplane at Kitty Hawk...

They were the Wright brothers for the job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Spot on!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Ran out of cat food, so the kitties got tuna

Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asswype_poptart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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A tail of two kitties
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πŸ‘€︎ u/euanwmcgill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Cotton Kitty.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayrilo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin

They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosBadger777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Did you hear about the awards show where the winners received an award that looked like a kitty's behind?

It was a catastrophe!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Undope
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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What is Israeli's favorite Hello Kitty character?

Pon Pon Purim!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edgykiddoxd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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What did the 600-pound canary say to the cat?

[[in your deepest possible voice]] Here kitty kitty kitty....

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerowave
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What do you call a group of kittens?

The itty-bitty Kitty committee!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What's Kitty's favorite dessert ?

Chilled cup of mice cream

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.

It was a worst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acemask
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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[Pun request] Need a List of Cat Puns For US Cities and States

So far for States I have: Catifornia North and South Catolina Oklahomeow Oregato Furorida Mew York, Jersey, Hampshire, Mexico Connectikitty ​

For cities I have: Mew York Kitty Felinedelphia San Digato Mewmphis Chigato San Furanciso Indianapawlis Clawmbus​

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namtag24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Wife: Awwww, it’s a cute kitty cat.

Me: Yes, it’s very purrrrrty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakefromAetna
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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Wifey warned me "Don't use the butter left out on the bench. The kitties got up and were licking it."

"Yeah I don't wanna use that cat-lick butter...

That's worse than that Anglican butter."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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What unit do European cats use to measure volume?

Kitti-liter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hackmark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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"Mr. President" could be a great name for a dog...

You could tell him to get off the couch by saying "Get down, Mr. President!"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Walter_Bishop_PhD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinteln
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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Pls help me with 2 Name puns

1 for Kitti and 1 for Daniela

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trinflush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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I think my dad comes up with his best material early in the morning. imgur.com/a1mfKTn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schismatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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I dad joked my fwb

We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.

Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."

Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"

Her: (groans)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmc20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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What is soft and furry, says Meow, and is filled with cement?

The answer is a kitty cat. I just put the cement in to make it hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Wife got a key cut at the hardware store today.

Wife: I got the hello kitty design on the key because they only had sports teams or plain ones

Me: you don't like aviation?

Wife: (5 second pause then groan and eyeroll)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Storjie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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What do you call a swimming pool with a cat in it?

A Kitty Pool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2016
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Titties

So my girlfriend likes to talk in a baby voice sometimes. I don't mind it and find it fairly cute. Well she's been wanting to go get a kitten and every time she mentions is she says it as "can we go look at titties today?" Instead of kitties. Well I woke her up and in her half asleep voice she asks me

"Can we go look at titties today?"

I say "sure, we'll go to the shelter later."

And she responds "Hooters or twin peaks?"

It took me a minute but she definitely got me on this one.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draked1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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Went to ihop with my dad

..and all the servers are dressed in little pieces of their Halloween costumes (kitty ears, face paint). But one employee was wearing the Blue IHOP apron and the blue and white striped shirt. [dad] nudges my sister with his elbow, "look, he's dressed as an IHOP employee".

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicodegallo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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Not a father but I used this on my GF

My girlfriend and I were in the vet's office when she mentioned seeing a cat in the middle of the road that had been struck by a car earlier that day. We had both seen it and she said that there needed to be a moment of silence for the fallen kitty.

I said, "more like a meowment of silence..."

She called me an idiot as I laughed for a good minute or so.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANDTHEMETSWIN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Spaghetti Dinner

My family was all eating spaghetti around the kitchen table one night when my Dad just started chuckling out of nowhere, spaghetti sauce falling down his shirt. His laughs quickly got louder and more food began to fall out of his mouth. Everyone immediately knew what was up.

"So...haha, so what do you get when you cross a cat with some fireworks?"

We blankly stare back. "What?"

"Kitty Kitty Bang Bang!"

He then just stared at us all laughing, tears in his eyes. My mom got up and left the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glasenator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Just dadjoked the cat!

After failing to get a laugh after making a joke leaving our living room, I came across the cat and said, "I'm a funny guy."

Then followed with, "Guess that means you're the kitty and i'm the kidder."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindninjafart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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What did the 600 pound canary say to the cat?

<in your lowest possible voice> Here kitty kitty kitty...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerowave
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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