When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.
I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'
At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'
In high school, I was famous for writing my name in cursive.
That was my signature move.
My wife’s favorite class in High School was History
I should’ve known she’d be good at bringing up the past.
I heard Disney opened up a high school with a diverse field of study
They even had a 101 on Dalmatians
Back in high school I led a movement to eliminate some of the alphabet's unnecessary letters. Our first target the 25th letter.
Why was the pirate depressed on his first day of high school?
He couldn't find Davey Jone's locker
I had to write a 500 word essay on a language of India back in high school...
I titled it The Hindi 500.
I had a friend in high school that really wanted to become a pilot. His parents hated the idea. Every time he brought it up, they were like
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.
That way, I can keep a low pro file.
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...
Back in my day, high school sports athletic conferences wouldn’t let you participate if you didn’t keep at least a 2.0 grade point average. It seems times have drastically changed...
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
This was at my high school
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.
The name of the business?
"Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.
She was a real party pooper
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school 🙃
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
Why princess ariel didn't finish high school?
Because her grades were always under the C.
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
It’s not that my high school math teacher was mean...
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.
Then I can have a “Hoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.
I had a crush in high school...
Dad drives to the local high school and picks up his son.
Son: “Dad, put me down, you’re embarrassing me.”
Why did the man get sent back to his home country for following his high school girlfriends life rules?
The only thing I learned in high school was how to multiply...
and I have eleven kids to prove it.
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
High school started out promising for me, but I ended up selling meat as a job.
I guess you can say I butchered my grades.
My chemistry book from high school... I was bored.
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.
Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.
The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!
What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer
They both have bad joints
My maths book from high school... I’m sorry
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
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