...an ether/oar situation...
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
It was a lovely service...
It was a Nick neck patty whack.
The Rock bought ‘em.
He keeled the other fellow just like that!
Guess you could call it a punchline.
It was a lovely service.
My dad looked at me and said “I think your player went to Boarding School.”
You know how you can tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? ...One will see you later, the other will see you in a while.
Me being the only other dad in the room silently chuckled while the other 3 non-dad executives let out an audible groan.
How dairy.
I told him, "Oh, just Robin Williams."
My girlfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. I put my head on her chest.
ME: Your boobs make good pillows. HER: Yea they are pretty soft. ME: Are they made of mammary-foam?
She paused for a moment before groaning and eventually giving it a good chuckle. So proud.
He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she really rubbed him the wrong way.
Bug Splatters
Dad- "You know what the last thing that went through that bug's head when he hit the windshield?"
Me- "No dad, what?"
Dad- "His ass!"
Gets em every time
Dad - "Boy, I bet that stadium gets really hot after the game is over"
Me - "why?"
Dad "Because all the fans are gone"
Because they are too small.
Watching the Pirates and Brewers game tonight and the ole pops drops this one on me:
"I'm pretty sure we got a Locke on this game cause this guys gonna Lohse"
The names of the starting pitchers... -_-
"Hey, how 'bout that Japanese-Jewish girl, Sosumi?"
My dad is Jewish, btw.
Great service
It was a lovely service.
