It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
My doctor says I have an apartment complex.
Turns out she didn't want a lot for Christmas
The cops have been working tirelessly to catch him
...Afterwards you can say, "we've been through a Lot together".
They weigh a skele-ton.
Sage advice
I don’t see the point of them
Well call it, habitat, for huge manatees
The worker was told to give each doll one test tickle.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
It goes 100 feet per second.
It'll be called Suburbway.
I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
They’re hill areas
Me: It's an olfactory response.
Covid is spiking in my area again worse than ever and everyone is so burned out and frustrated.
Everyday, I jump on this sub, find a joke and put it in our unit instant messenger for a pick-me-up that makes everyone smile.
No joke, just a thank you.
It's a CHiP off the old block!
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Apparently the correct term is “conjoined twins”.
The entry is quite expensive, mostly due to inflation.
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and hands over a few singles to pay for it. The bartender picks up the $1 bills and carefully scrutinizes them, holding them up to the light. "What are you doing?" the guy asks. "There's a new scam going around this holiday season," the bartender replies. "People are passing around counterfeit $1 bills, so be careful. "So, what you're telling me is I should keep an eye out for hot singles in my area," the guy says.
because it's peak comedy
Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.
Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.
It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.
What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?
Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car
How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit
What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka
What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places
I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope ✉
Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid
Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze
If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS
Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in
Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee
Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee
Pig black belt in karate Pork chop
How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.
You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.
I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out
What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant
did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?
What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn
What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio
What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe
Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.
My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief
Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th
... keep reading on reddit ➡Not a lot
It's amid section.
It's a fitting room.
Because they're varied hill-areas!
The police are working tirelessly to arrest him.
She was told to give them all one test tickle
Me: It's an olfactory response.
They’re hill areas.
They are hill areas.
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..
