A list of puns related to "Is a Woman"
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”
Snow Balls
Because she is something to adore.
The man sitting next to her asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "Absolutely", she responds. So the man walks up to the podium and clears his throat. "Plethora" he says. Then he comes and sits back down. "Thank you", the woman says. "That means a lot."
but Anne Hathaway
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Because men can't breastfeed.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you. Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew.
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
Man : *immediately starts marching around the room and says "so can you tell me now?"
The man says, "Lady, you ever tried to push one of these things out front?!?"
He’s called Senor Rita
Preg-Nancy.
I’m on the fence about it.
He'll be born in April
Boobs on the moon 2024
Men can't exactly breastfeed.
"No, but your hat's on crooked."
She is literally kidding.
When she farts, it blows her shoes off.
Snowballs.
That way it will never come for me
She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. "Dad, i'm sorry," she whispers... "Goodbye sorry" he said, "i'm dead
when its a-parent
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
EDIT: An older gentleman spent the whole afternoon in the gas station telling dad jokes to every customer that walked through the door. This was mine.
Fiance: You just got snew all over the place.
Me: ...
Me: ... What the hell is "snew"?
Fiance: grinning like an idiot Nothing. What snew with you??
The judge asked her, “first offender” “No,” she says “first a Gibson then a Fender
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Snowballs
He'll be born next month
He’ll be born in February.
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
The judge asks her, "First offender?” She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
The judge asks, “First offender?” The wife replies, “No, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”
’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
“No, go right ahead.” the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says “plethora”, and sits back down.
“Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot.”
’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
"Mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says, "Plethora", and sits back down.
"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a lot."
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