... and as you can see, they were Wright
Suture self 🤷♂️
I told her she would roux the day.
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
Except Togo.
But I bought him loafers instead.
He has a lot experience working remote
A refuse-nik!
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
But I don’t know... I still say there’s something fishy about him.
The frame was remarkable
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
Sounds like a stretch to me.
To minimise casual tees
How else am I going to keep my stories straight.
He's got all these really weird rules you have to follow, like whenever you eat cabbage, he insists you have to eat it with mayonnaise.
It's just Cole's law.
(Thought of this one whilst trying to come up with puns to annoy my husband. He abhors dad jokes, and receiving this look -_- means I did a good job.)
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
She said no, just above the knees.
He really keeps me on my toes.
He was in de-nile
But I didn’t! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.
I said "NO! IT MUST BE A TYPE-O"
I just don’t see it.
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.
I think that’s a stretch.
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
He says “My campfires are better, man.”
But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
But my wife insists it's for Dyslexia
But my only way to work is broken down, and I just can't bring myself to tell him.
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
But sometimes, it’s really hard without her.
She called me a massage-anist.
Down south in the backwoods. Along my way I met a friendly family that took me in for the night. Despite being impoverished they insisted that I stay the night and have dinner.
When we had dinner it seemed they were serving a kind of stew. Quite aromatic. I asked them what it was and the reply I got was “It’s Ma’s Soup Y’all.” I shrugged my shoulders and started to eat. The food was good of course but the meat was quite gamey. So I asked what type of meat it was?
‘Possum.
So thats a turnip for the books.
Working at an ice cream parlor there was a customer that insisted I serve him chocolate ice cream even though we were out of it. He just wouldn’t give up. So I said “let’s play a game”. How many “vans” are in vanilla ice cream? -he said “one”(correct) So how many “straws” are in strawberry ice cream? He said “one” again (correct) So then how many “ F’s” are in chocolate ice cream? He said there is no “F” in chocolate ice cream - I said “Exactly- THERE IS NO F IN CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!
Nobody expects the spanish intro mission
He wouldn’t techno for an answer.
What a bitch.
It's set in its ways
Suture self.
But my wife insists that he wrote Dyslexia
Suture self.
