Incisive canals Puns

My brain MRI had an incidental finding of Nasopalatine Duct Cyst / Incisive Canal Cyst last year. Last week, I had some swelling in my mouth and then I noticed a hard lump in the roof of my mouth and went to the dentist. The dentist referred me to an oral surgeon for a biopsy and now I'm very concerned. Anybody have the same issue? How concerned should we be about this?

I have nothing but free time at home during recovery, so I wanted to outline my experiences last week. First of all, Dr. Dy, and the staff at OHSU, were all amazing. Dr. Dy has a radiant, highly experienced bedside manner. The other staff at OHSU Urology, from the PAs to meal service folks, were also similarly awesome. From the pre-op appointments until chatting the morning after surgery, Dr. Dy was fantastic.

I was in the hospital for two nights, and was able to get up and walk around a handful of times without too much issue. Just needed someone to help stabilize me when I felt dizzy. It took me a long time to properly "wake up" while I was in the anesthesia recovery area. Memories are hazy, so I mostly remember someone putting me on supplemental oxygen (via nasal cannula), and drinking apple juice. I had zero nausea from the general anesthesia.

On the third day, I was sent home with my dressings and catheter still in place. That was a struggle to deal with, even for the short period of time. The dressings really restricted the catheter, so minor bumps or tugs would cause a lot of pain (normally such minor movements are uncomfortable and weird, and much less actually painful). I was sent me home with a stack of bed pads, so I laid it on top of my bedding, grabbed my favorite blankets and pillows, and slept that way.

The next morning, bright and early, I returned to OHSU for dressing and catheter removal. I was provided a mirror to help see the initial results as staff were walking me through it. I liked what I saw! We weren't able to determine how much depth my "dimple" ended up having.

Before the catheter was removed, my bladder was filled with a saline solution to accommodate the "pee test." No dice for 20 minutes. Staff were kind and incredibly patient. I drank more water, tried to calm my nerves, and eventually had to push through the anxiety. Literally. Pushing that much, so soon after the surgery, was intense, but it did eventually provide results. I popped my first sanitary pad into my underwear, and left the building feeling really positive.

Since then, I've had a hilarious amount of swelling and bruising. Labia majora and mons are so swollen that I often laugh when I see them. Poor girl! Medications and wound care keep pain well controlled, so I'm just dealing with the discomfort (and chafing) caused by the swelling.

Incisions and bodily functions in the area are doing great. Lots of discharge from the incisions, but pads take care of that

Just wanted to leave a quick note to CELEBRATE!

Background: I’m 8 weeks post op (everything went except my ovaries), was Da Vinci laparoscopic but my uterus was so enlarged they couldn’t remove through vaginal canal as originally intended- instead went through incision above belly button.

Recovery has been a roller coaster and definitely had some challenges but I’m on my way. Just finishing up my second week back at work (work from home) and am starting to be more active.

What I’m celebrating:

• no more having to take extra iron or dealing with insane fatigue from all the fibroids stealing my blood
• no more fear or having to change my clothes multiple times because I leaked through
• no more jumping out of bed worried about overnight leaking on the sheets
• no more checking the calendar when making plans or planning trips
• no more missing days of my life because I’m in so much pain I’m curled up in bed and can’t leave
• no more days I can’t do anything because I’m exhausted and hurting
• no more fear of getting pregnant

Huzzah! :)

I wasn’t expecting to spend New Year’s Day sitting in a dentist’s waiting room.

There was nobody to blame but myself. It had been my stupid idea to play blindfolded hide and seek—and as a group of twenty something college students already intoxicated and sharing one braincell between us-- it wasn’t the greatest idea. I’m not going to say it was a bad idea—because if we’d been sober and actually had logic, I’m pretty sure we would have had a blast. My housemate Milla had inherited the house from her crazy rich uncle.

Not quite a mansion—more of half of one. If that makes sense. Located in a quiet student neighbourhood not too far from campus, the house was ancient, the interior modernized for a more 21st century student feel.

It’s cosy and welcoming, rustic décor wrapping every room in the kind of warmth that has always been absent from my family home growing up, each room colourful with brimming personality. There’s something about the house that clicked with me. When you walk in, you know you’re home, from the all-too-familiar stink of burning coming from the kitchen which was Milla trying some new recipe she’d found on Pinterest, and walking upstairs, you would be assaulted with the sound of playful shouting--Fee and Kenji getting unnecessarily heated over Super Smash Bro’s, and if you happened to peek into the lounge, I’d probably be murdering Wonderwall on guitar. I’m not going to tell you how we all ended up in the house. But I will say they’re like my second family.

It almost felt like the house chose us, as stupid as it sounds. Upon the walls were paintings of abstract shapes and random assortments of colour. You know, rich people paintings. There weren’t many rules in the house but we were forbidden from touching the paintings. I could understand that. They were probably worth a lot.

The ground floor of the house was untouched; the flooring an old-fashioned parquet with a blend of deep homely browns, while the walls were different shades of blue complimenting white wallpaper. The banister of the stairs was thick and wooden, its grain flowing as water might—in comforting woodland hues reflecting a glittering chandelier. In this house there are multiple rooms and alcoves and places I haven’t even explored yet.

You would be right in thinking this is the perfect setting for a giant game of hide and seek on New Years Eve.

The first few rounds went as well as you might think, considering we were all wasted before 10PM.

A few of us fell down the s

(I use they/them pronouns)

A radical hysterectomy is where they take out your cervix/uterus/fallopian tubes but I do I have both ovaries and a vaginal canal

I have a severe case of PCOS I was falsy diagnosed for years (until I was 14 and diagnosed with PCOS) by doctors just claiming that I was young and young people have irregular periods but in my case I was constantly is the hospital due to period "cramps" ( it was actually due to oviaran cysts) and I was constantly sick due to severe iron diffencecy my iron levels were 4.26 in 2016 when I was 13 ( between 35.5 and 44.9 percent for adult women ) and I was bleeding so much and not your average heavy flow I would literally bleed so much a day I would lose consciousness and pass out from blood loss and I was bleeding every single day for months it just never stopped and that's when the doctors were finally like let's test them for Von Willebrand disease (A bleeding disorder caused by low levels of clotting protein in the blood.) because of how of how much I was bleeding it came back negative and they had no idea what to do next and for the next 9 months I was going to the children's hospital 2 hours away twice a month to get an iron transfusion and even then we could never get my levels higher than 10 because the bleeding was so extensive

And here is the crazy part I started my period when I was 10 and my periods were really irregular and would be super heavy and would last long period of time with excruciating period cramps that would land me in the ER every so often plus extensive weight gain and so the doctors put me on birth control pills and that's where it started there are many types of birth control and I couldn't take most of them because they didn't have the right hormones to stop the bleeding but I have been on 17 different types including the IUD and Progesterone/Estrogen pills I was on birth control for 7 years and even after all that nothing I mean nothing stopped my period even with an IUD in longer than 2 years they just never ended

I couldn't ever have normal feelings either and that sounds weird but we all know that with periods comes emotions and my hormones were all over the place so I was constantly going in and out of super intestine mood swings that would switch on a dime and that became my day to day life because at first my periods lasted 2 weeks+ and then it turned into 4 months+ next thing I knew was it was years(the last period I experienced was 4 years and 12 months shy

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Here are a few possible artistic choices.

You will often (usually) prefer to avoid all or most of them for artistic reasons, but if you have no clear reason to avoid them, they can make the whole exercise of writing easier, and more immediately fun. All of them do have specific aesthetic effects, which are noted in their descriptions.

1) Select a plot vehicle that also carries the writing process.

1. Such plot vehicles include Swiftian Satirical Thesis Statements; Problem-Solving Techniques; Setting-Walkthroughs. See specific examples of these in this thread.
2. What I mean by “a plot vehicle that carries the writing process”, is a driving plot device, which produces action simply by being present in a setting. See the dildo in subpoint 5.
3. The main benefit of using, as a rule, easier techniques over more ambitious ones, is that it frees up your imagination. It is very cognitively expensive trying to pull convincing narrative developments out of thin air—to ask yourself ‘what should happen now?’. With a plot vehicle like those discussed here, you are able to ask ‘what is likely to happen now?’. You’re predicting where the narrative will go. This more automatic approach to generating story leaves you with more resources available for visualising action, hearing the rhythm of prose and dialogue as you write, and the other basic processes of imagination.
4. Begin the story by introducing the main character(s) and plot vehicle as quickly and perfunctorily as possible—a few paragraphs.
5. Let the plot vehicle play itself out logically and react to it with your background knowledge. Imagine a party scene in which someone arrives with an absurd prop, say a large, flexible and conspicuous-smelling dildo, and the narrative follows their procession between various groups at the party. Each small social circle can be treated as the ‘terrain’ on which the plot vehicle is being run in that section, and once you’ve decided what the terrain is, e.g. what kinds of people are in each social circle, it is easy to extrapolate their reactions to the presence of this guest with their obnoxious prop. What you are doing, in this process, is letting the plot vehicle run and reacting to it with your background knowledge.
6. Do not research. Remember that we are talking about making things easy. Let yourself react to the motion of the plot vehicl

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

And boy are my arms legs.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Warning just in case female anatomy triggers you, I mentiona few words clinically

I had my full hysterectomy yesterday, (uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, cervix). I'm so happy for it. Yes, the pains not good, I got sick, and couldn't sleep. But overall, I've had a really good experience with the staff. It was my first time using a catheter and I'm not a fan of the removal, or of the one collecting blood. For example, it's similar to the one used for topsurgery. My surgeon was Dr. Clark of Latham, NY. The method he used was 3 incisions on my abdomen and everything out through the vaginal canal. The cramp and blood is dysphoric but it being the final time of any of it is euphoric. He didn't require any letters, weight restrictions, stopping hormones, or anything. He works with a lot of trans folks and understands. He was reccomended by a NP transman at Planned Parenthood. Honestly I recommend him too, it only took me this long to have the surgery because of the pandemic.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Hey guys,

I had a hysterectomy two days ago and now I'm experiencing minor bleeding downstairs. Still in the hospital and the doctor said it's nothing major but I'm still kinda worried. Did you have this also and how long did it last?

The hysto was performed via two little incisions in the stomach region and removal of it all through the vaginal canal.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

When I got home, they were still there.