In with the Devil Puns

They're also pun-ishingly bad! You should be pun-alized for it!

Edit: >!I normally don't do this but let me explain the joke/post. Please notice the pun-chline below the title.!<

>!The idea behind this post was to make a pun out of the controversial topic of this sub and nothing else.!<

>!I'm the "devil's advocate" when it comes to both sides. I love both SFW and NSFW dad jokes. Also, there are many prude cultures in the world where parents don't use NSFW jokes with their kids even as an adult so it makes sense why they won't think an NSFW joke is not a dad joke. Reddit is not limited to western culture.!<

Edit 2: A lot of people have been sharing links in this post. Don't click them. They might be scammers.

Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.

"The Poach Coach"

Popular dishes:

1. Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
2. Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
3. The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
4. The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
5. The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
6. Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)

I (f) took a risk by showing my dad-ness to a guy I've gone on a few dates with. I'd say it went well.

Scene: In line at the grocery store.

Me: Those are nice shoes!

Him: Thanks, I like them but the soles came off pretty early.

Me: So, what you're saying is they're the devil's shoes?

Him: ...

Me: ...because they're sole-less.

I laughed, he rolled his eyes, and I got a bonus sigh from the lady in front of us.

Who wouldn't trust a pope that's had a run-in with the devil?

So some friends and I were at the breakfast buffet at a hotel (road trip).

Friend #1: Hey look, deviled eggs!

Me: No those are just boiled eggs.

Other friend: Yea deviled eggs are prepared with some other stuff in it.

Friend #1: Yea yea whatever

15 minutes later, going for seconds

Friend #1: Hey, pass me a deviled egg.

All of us: It's just boiled, not deviled!

Friend #1: Relax, I'm just yolking around.

He was too proud of that one. Us, not so much..

So my dad pretty much lays this one on every friend of mine he ever meets.

There once was this man named Benny, who had the strongest desire to live forever. The devil knew these desires, and arose out of the dephts to make a deal with Benny.

The deal stated that, in exchange for Benny's soul, he would be gifted with immortality. The only condition was that Benny could not shave any part of his body, ever, or he would be instantly transformed into an urn.

Benny went on with his now unending life and found himself falling in love with a girl shortly after accepting this deal with the devil. The girl however. Would not love him back because of his ridiculously long hair covering his entire body. It was said that the hair from his knuckles would sweep the floor when he walked into the room, and he would constantly trip himself on his beard.

The girl eventually died and Benny fell into a deep depression. He decided it would be best to end his misery by going to a barbershop, and getting a shave. He sat in the barber's seat, and as soon as the blade reached his skin, he was transformed, and all that remained in the seat was a large, metal urn.

The moral of the story... A Benny Shaved is a Benny Urned.