What's the difference between a poke in the eye and a poke in the hive?

One makes you see bad, the other makes a bee sad.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KidDene
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an existential crisis in the hive.

The Queen buzzed, "To bee or not to bee, that is the question."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcOnToActurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that never quite made it in the hive?

A wanna-bee!

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark hives.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebongreaper666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bee's stay in their hive in the winter?

'swarm

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemigodRob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Bees like to stay huddled up together in their hives during the winter

Swarm

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpunkBunkers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The pollen basket or corbicula is part of the tibia on the hind legs of certain species of bees. They use the structure in harvesting pollen and returning it to the nest or hive.

The bees think that this ability is just the bee's knees.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nate601
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
🚨︎ report
I had some delicious honey on my toast this morning.

Later as I walked past the hive where it came from I said "Thank you bees for making the best honey in the world." A few shouted back "It's good but we wouldn't say it was the best honey in the world."

Oh I thought, they must be humble bees.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years.

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Had a dad joke at work the other day, wanted to share.

Where I work, we have a honeybee hive and sell the honey in our market.

A pair of beekeepers were in the other day to extract some combs and before they left, they asked us (my Hispanic coworkers and myself) if we wanted to see them.

Both of my coworkers exclaimed, "Si, si!" and I promptly chimed in, "No, they aren't c's - they're bees!"

Audibly groans were had, I am ready for fatherhood.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crunkle_pat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I mean, he did kill a lot of ants.

So I get back home from college this weekend and my mom was explaining to me how we had a pretty bad ant infestation coming in through our kitchen wall.

My dad proceeds to tell me that he's gone through two bags of ant bait (they pick the food up and bring it back to the hive) already.

I say, oh wow you must be getting pretty good at killing ants then, and he says "I guess you can just call me the master-baiter". I had to stop and literally applaud him. My mom just rolled her eyes as usual, but I have to give it to the old man this time.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Need_A_Blumpkin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
🚨︎ report
"Dad, I want to keep bees..."

Today I sent my dad a text, proclaiming my desire to start keeping bees when I move into my new house next month. Below is a transcript of our text conversation:

Me: Dad, I want to start beekeeping at the new house.

Dad: I tried that once, but I broke out in hives.

Dad: Must be allergic

Dad: Not sure how to keep bees, but I'm sure we could bumble our way through it.

Dad: Don't know where you get bees so we'll have to comb the area for them.

Me: I thought if I ignored you this would stop.

Me: ...now I'm SKEP-ticle

Dad: Lol! Good one! Now I'm all abuzz with new ideas.

Me: Nope. We are done.

As an aside, my wife is pregnant, and I'm soon going to be a father. Clearly the dad joking begins during the first trimester.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Riickroll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
🚨︎ report
The lever bee.

This was always one of my dad's favorites to tell us.

A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest. Every day, as worker bees do, they would go out into their fields, gather pollen from the flowers, and bring it back to make honey.

The bees had a problem, though, because every so often an intruder would come around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids who thought it'd be fun to throw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it.

Being the intelligent bees that they are, they built an alarm system for the hive. They built it such that one bee pulls a lever, which triggers the alarm that the bees will hear from the fields, and then the bees can come back to protect their home.

There was one bee who was exclusively assigned that job, and he was aptly named the "Lever Bee." His job was to watch for potential adversaries, and pull the lever to raise the alarm.

Now clearly, the safety of the hive depends on this one Lever Bee. So it stands to reason that he has to be constantly ready and on the alert so that he can do his job.

And that, friends, is why people say, "I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kentron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do bees stay in the hive over winter?

β€˜Swarm.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?

S'warm

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saddam_dutchbag
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do bees stay in their hives during the winter?

Swarm.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/metalfan2680
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?

In the Ark Hives.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JP-Seven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark Hives.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BethJ2018
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees ?

In the Ark hives

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep a record of his bees?

In the ark hives

πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah put the bees?

In the Ark hives.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phillydog1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark hives

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beeman1979
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep the bees

In the ark hives.

πŸ‘︎ 858
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OthelolzNZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Where did noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazylegs_Ohooley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark Hives.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Borskaegel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elmosworld37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timbo_KZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.