What's the biggest difference between male patients in a mental hospital and their female nurses?
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
What is the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?
What is the difference between a man in a tuxedo riding a bicycle and a bum on a tricycle?
I tried to quell a disagreement between me and my girlfriend in the shopping mall. But by the time we got to the second level we were shouting at each other.
In retrospect we shouldn’t have been on that escalator.
What's the difference between a poke in the eye and a poke in the hive?
One makes you see bad, the other makes a bee sad.
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
What's the difference between people in Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
The people in Dubai don't like the flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do
What do you call the love between two people that never engage in sexual activity and love eating a lot?
So I was out at the museum with my daughter today and got the ultimate dad joke in. Employee asks kids "Does anyone know the difference between a Crocodile and an Alligator?"
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
How can you tell the difference between flowers that bloom in the day and flowers that bloom in the night?
The difference is day and night.
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?
One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper
I always wondered about the fight between Dio and Jotaro. Even though Dio had trained for months before facing him, Jotaro still destroyed him in the end
Ig he really didn't stand a chance
In memory of my Dad, here’s his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.
I couldn’t differentiate between them.
A conversation between a child and dad in their home country Switzerland
Child : Dad, what's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland.
Dad: The flag is a big plus.
When I was in high school, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.
Now I realize it was just a phase.
Found this conversation between me and my mum in my Facebook memories
Convo between me and a lady friend, what do we think boys? Am I in?
I accidentally dropped my phone in the bath yesterday. Some water got stuck in between the phone and it’s cover. I thought my phone was waterproof.
But apparently not in this case.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man in on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle
I’ve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. It’s a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.
You could say my creation is a little device-seive.
Today, in my garden, I came across a creature that was a cross between man and cat!
What’s the difference between a man in a suit on a bicycle and and man in shorts and a T-shirt on a unicycle?
What’s similarity between playing a chess and having a dinner in Australian restaurant?
They both end with “Checkmate”.
Post was on a picture of the Simpsons where there was a flashback between Homer and Marge taking care of Bart and Lisa but theres a picture of Maggie in the background before she was born
What’s the difference between a lion with a thorn in its paw and a rainy day?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.
Who would win in a fight between a bunch of formal clothing?
No one! It would be a tie!
My daughter today asked me if they're called sandals because when you wear them you get sand all in between your toes and I am a very proud dad at the moment.
What's the difference between a steak in space and a steak on Earth?
The difference between being under the moonlight and out in the sun...
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
I just crashed my car in a lane between two houses -- one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Ball, and one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Thank god I was dragged out by the Smiths.
What is the difference between people in Abu Dhabi and people in Lebanon?
People in Lebanon do not like the Flintstones, while people in Abu Dhabi do.
What's the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws
You know the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
What’s the difference between in-laws and Outlaws?
What's the difference between someone who works in landscaping and someone who steals from a coffee shop?
One is a groundskeeper, while the other is a grounds keeper.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins.
I couldn’t differentiate between them.
What's the difference between and out law and an in law?
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