I used to tell dad jokes.

But then he died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iSkittleCake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2023
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A pirate walks into a bar wearing a steering wheel on his belt buckle

The bartender says: "hey you have a steering wheel on your belt buckle"

The pirate says: "aye it's drivin me nuts"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byhoneybear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2022
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Why did the grizzly break into the house?

He needed bear necessities.

100% organic joke created and provided by me, to you, for your enjoyment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rrenphoenixx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2023
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Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!

They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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When Bruce Wayne was a kid he used to help the Gotham City baseball team with their equipment.

That’s back when he was just a batboy, before he became a Batman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2022
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Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2022
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Ted Talk -Ted Bundy- Unlocking Necrophilia and its implications in modern society.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/netdoppler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Did you hear about the soccer player that was implicated in the Panama Papers?

Apparently it was a Messi business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ianodon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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No verdict reached in the case of the neutrons colliding with the anti neutrons:

Though there's an argument for it being mass murder, none of the implicated were charged

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LosBruun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2022
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The Russians are going to be making their own show about Chernobyl that implicates the US.

I wonder if it'll be available on Nyetflix.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiverslinky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The cast of β€œFriends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.

Because Lisa Kudrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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A woman went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot on sale for $50...

β€œWhy so cheap?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner said, β€œWell, this bird used to live in a brothel, and occasionally it says some pretty vulgar stuff.” The woman thought about this, but decided that for $50, she just had to have the bird.

She took the bird home, hung the cage up in the living room, and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, β€œNew house, new madam.” The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought β€œMeh… That's really not so bad” and laughed it off.

When her two teenage daughters got home from school, the bird saw them and said, β€œNew house, new madam, new girls!!!” The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then laughed about the situation – considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

A few moments later, the woman’s husband got home from work. The bird looked at him and said, β€œNew house, new madam, new girls, welcome back Keith!!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2021
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Not a dad, but I texted this joke to I girl I went out with a couple of times. Told me after that I remind her of her dad

β€œDid you know there’s a mistake in the English alphabet?”

Her: β€œsure there is”

”No seriously. U & I should be togetherβ€œ

Edit: In now way is there a sexual implication with the joke. She was being sarcastic when she texted that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phastic
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2022
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My friend Jay just had twins and wants to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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