Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
They found bones of a homisapien who lived before the ice age. Some say he was the first hipster...
since he lived on the earth before it was cool.
Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
This ice truck on my way to work.
I’ve been good. No ice cream on Thursday. None on Friday. None on Saturday.
It's an Archie Bunker! I built a replica of the All in the Family house INSIDE a giant basement in the Sims 4.
reddit.com/gallery/mv4w82
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
What would I have if I wrapped ice cream in a tortilla?
What's harder than selling ice to an Eskimo?
Selling a vacuum in space.
There’s a giant fly in the house!
An ice cream van crashed in the street today
The whole area is coned off.
Why does it take sailors ages to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "
The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."
How long does it take to beat a Sega game backwards? Ages...
Yeah yeah yeah, the circus fire was in tents but did you hear the one about the giant who got super drunk and threw up?
Really, you didn't about that? It was all over town.
I went to a microbrewery and a soft serve ice cream store the other day.
What do you call a giant racist clown?
Have you heard of the giant shoe tower?
I heard it was a big feet of engineering
What’s Adrian‘s favorite ice cream
If an ice cream van breaks down....
...do they have to put out cones ?
Where can you find a giant snail?
At the end of a giant's finger.
Edit: it helps if you say it out loud
My dad used to hit me with cameras
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
I was wondering if I should go to work today, and then I saw some guys putting up a giant rectangle along the highway.
The ice age would be the coolest time to be alive.
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
Should I worry about those ice cubes I dropped?
Nah, it’s just water under the fridge.
Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
I feel like the stress of the pandemic has really aged me...
...I look at least a year older.
Did you hear about the man who abandoned his diet, for an ice cream cone?
My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
Did you know the giant crab from Moana changed his name to Tamatoa after he got shiny?
My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!
Where do you find giant snails?
On the end of giant’s fingers.
At age 18 I lost both my kidneys...
...from that day in I had adult-neys.
Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket
What happens if a polar bear sits too long on the ice?
Is there any ice in Leicester?
There is on paper, but word of mouth says it's non-existent
A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus
He said “I heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?”
I fell into a giant seasoning processor
Now I'm parsley disfigured
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
What's the oldest age someone could get a circumcision ?
I just need to know the cut-off date.
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