Not a joke. But I wish it was.
I am not a dad. I am a daughter. For longer than I can remember, I have called my dad at "too early" times in the morning, woke him up, and told him a joke. This was a daily occurrence. Hence how I found this sub.
My dad died on Monday. You guys helped me wake him up with laughter so many times and I got to hear him laugh every day. Thank you r/dadjokes.
Edit: spelling
Wow I really did not expect so many people to see this post or to take the time to comment and reach out to me. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and kind words. It really means a lot. This is a great community and I'm so glad to have found it. As a mom to two beautiful little jokesters, I will absolutely continue pestering them with daily jokes and keep the tradition and the laughter alive.
For those asking, his favorite jokes were the really long ones that took forever to tell and had bad/ the best punchlines. The one that immediately sticks out was posted here either Sunday or Monday and was the last one I got to tell him. I will see if I can find it and figure out how to link. It was about a farmer who really loved tractors.
Thank you to the kind redditors who found it for me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/slwg7y/bit_of_a_story_to_this_one_but_well_worth_the_read/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
π︎ 45k
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︎ Feb 11 2022
I met a magical genie once. He gave me one wish. I said "I wish I could be you"
The genue saud, "weurd wush but U wull grant ut."
π︎ 10k
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︎ Feb 23 2022
The other day, I met a genie who granted me one wish. So, I told him: "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 27 2022
I just wish this virus gets over soon.
π︎ 51
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︎ Jan 07 2022
I wish more boxers could be on this subβ¦.
They always have the best punch lines.
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 30 2022
I wish I had invented the Poloβ¦
β¦I would have made a mint!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 24 2022
I wish Elon Musk and Bill Gates would do a collab.
They could finally Elongate the Tesla's windows.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 24 2022
I really wish I could tour the world, just like my dad...
He also wishes he could tour the world.
π︎ 33
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︎ Dec 25 2021
I wish my life was as simple as a dogβsβ¦
Everything just black and white
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 07 2022
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
π︎ 317
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︎ Oct 04 2021
I'd like to wish you all a Happy Last Year!!
Cause, ykno...after midnight...it'll be 2020 too...
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 31 2021
I wish I had a pet rooster and hen.
I would name them Sam and Ella.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 07 2022
The genie asked, "Whatβs your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "Whatβs your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
π︎ 17k
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I wish I owned the second professional basketball team in Miami.
When people ask which team I own I would tell them, βItβa not the Heat, itβs the Humidity.β
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 12 2021
My depressed maths teacher: I wish this class would appreciate my efforts.
Me: 30Β°, 60Β°.
Her: Thanks for the complements.
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 27 2021
As a farmer, I would personally like to wish the winner of the corn eating contest...
A massive corngratulations.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 18 2021
Wish I was as smooth! :(
π︎ 424
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I wish my kid would listen to me when I tell him about the dangers of Russian Roulette
It goes in one ear and out the other.
π︎ 62
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︎ Jun 18 2021
I wish I could be an organ donor
but I just don't have the guts
π︎ 31
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︎ Jul 10 2021
I wish someone would just
Chuck Norris off a cliff.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 19 2021
My car tells me jokes when i open my door to get out. The best part is it understands my humor but I wish they programmed it with more than one joke...
It keeps telling me my door is a jar.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 30 2021
A genie appeared and granted me one wish: I said I wanted to be happy.
Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.
π︎ 35
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︎ May 14 2021
It's so hot today, I really wish I could turn into a mini fridge
That way I'd be a little cooler
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 05 2021
I wish I was single for one day
Being single my whole life is exhausting
π︎ 46
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︎ May 17 2021
I wish I didπ
π︎ 145
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My fiancΓ© said, "I wish I had Voldemort's wand...
...because then I could avada keDABra!!"
(ΰΈα΅ΜηΏα΅Μ)ΰΈβΌΒ³ββ
π︎ 2
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︎ May 23 2021
A person says to a genie, "I wish for fame and fortunes." The genie snaps their fingers and says "your wish is granted," pulling a newspaper out of thin air.
The newspaper headline reads, "LOCAL MAN HAS FOUR CHINS!"
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 18 2021
I wish I can be like that parent when I grow up
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jul 07 2018
I wish I could make money flipping houses
But my arms arenβt strong enough
π︎ 4
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︎ May 11 2021
I sometimes wish I had invented the shovel
It was a real groundbreaking invention
π︎ 54
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I just bought a vacuum cleaner off of Wish.com
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 16 2021
I wish maths would...
Solve its own problems like everyone else.
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 13 2020
I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.
It's just water under the fridge.
π︎ 56
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︎ Dec 16 2020
wish I had that hat
π︎ 32
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︎ Jun 29 2020
**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Me: βOh, I wish Iβd listened to my motherβ Friend: βWhy? Whatβd she tell you?β
Me: βI donβt know, I wasnβt listeningβ
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Another year has came and went, and there are some things I wish I couldβve done differently
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I often wish I'd been adopted by gay parents.
So I could have twice as many dad jokes.
π︎ 78
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︎ Jul 24 2020
My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...
...but then my life would be meetingless.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 21 2021
I didn't make this up but I wish I knew who did.
It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.
"That means a lot."
π︎ 27
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︎ Aug 23 2020
I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish. I said, βI wish I could be you.β
The Genue saud, βWeurd wush but U wull grant ut.β
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 23 2021
A genie gave me one wish. I said "I wish I could be you".
The genue saud "Weurd wush, but U'll grant ut."
π︎ 69
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︎ Feb 03 2022
I met a magic genie and he gave me a single wish. I said "I wish I could be you."
The genue saud, "Weurd wush but OK u wull grant ut."
π︎ 1k
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︎ Nov 14 2021
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 03 2021
I wish Covid started in Las Vegas...
Because, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
π︎ 29
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︎ Aug 04 2021
Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
π︎ 15k
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︎ Sep 09 2019
The genie asked, "Whatβs your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "Whatβs your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 01 2018
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