I Don't Care Anymore Puns

He walks into the room and sees his grandfather asleep, so he sits on a chair. There is a bowl of peanuts nearby, so he starts eating them.

After some time, the grandfather wakes up. The man says, "Sorry. I ate all the peanuts."

The grandfather replies, "That's alright. Once I have sucked all the chocolate from them, I don't care for them anymore."

but I just dont care anymore.

Phone call from my dad "Where the hell are you? I haven't seen or heard from you all year, don't you care about your mother and I anymore!?!"

Let me preface this with some info. Firstly, me and my father are idiots; our jokes can become insensitive if we aren't careful, as we have few filters. My parents live in a tiny town amidst a thousand other tiny towns. One of the tiny towns right beside us (let's call it Townsburg) has a lot of forest and extra land, so towards the end of the summer when it's still hot but the land is starting to dry out, it's rather susceptible to fires. The other day, Townsburg caught fire in a few different places. The town my parents live in (we'll call it Cityville) is the sausage capital of our state. Yep. Sausage capital. Like brisket and such. Our proudest export is meat. Meat is what we are most proud of. I don't live there anymore, thank the universe.

So I went by my parents house on the way home from work one day to check on my retired, sick father, and watch the news with him (something I try to do whenever I can). And what happened next, well, it all just happened so fast...

Me: "Whoa, Townsburg is on fire again. I guess Cityville isn't the barbecue capital anymore, AYO." Dad: "Nope. Looks like they're about to be the barbecued capital." Me: "...we may need to stop hanging out so much."