49 Hilarious I Believe Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I can’t believe it’s not butter!

👍︎ 5k

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👤︎ u/tobias_drundridge

📅︎ Jan 21 2021

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I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker

But when I got home all the signs were there

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/piemamamer

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

👍︎ 13k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jan 11 2021

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Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

👍︎ 22k

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👤︎ u/A____K

📅︎ Nov 14 2020

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I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.

Like seriously, how low can you go ?

👍︎ 115

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👤︎ u/BogdanAnime

📅︎ Jan 31 2021

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I can't believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...

All I did was take a day off.

👍︎ 63

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 03 2021

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I can’t believe it’s not...

👍︎ 6k

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👤︎ u/Transgendercats69ing

📅︎ Sep 21 2020

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I can't believe in Drano anymore...

I found out it was a lye...

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/Vin135mm

📅︎ Feb 12 2021

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I believe I speak for almost all of us here

*Good morning *Buenos dias *Bonjour *Guten Morgen *Boungiorno *Bom dia *God morgon *Selamat pagi *Goedemorgen *God morgen *Dobroye utro

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👤︎ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand

📅︎ Jan 26 2021

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I can’t believe people are still making “Friends” references 15 years after the show ended.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

👍︎ 178

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 13 2020

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I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.

You can say I'm agnocchic.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/alterom

📅︎ Jan 01 2021

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Nobody believes me when I say I can name the prime minister of Canada

It's Trudeau.

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/broken_neck_broken

📅︎ Jan 11 2021

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Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!

👍︎ 84

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👤︎ u/AliTheHigh

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

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I believe I have made a hum(o)rous (c)omedic joke.

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👤︎ u/PlusAwe55

📅︎ Nov 21 2020

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I can't believe I've become attracted to statues...

Now I've really hit rock bottom.

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/DrowsyDuck005

📅︎ Dec 09 2020

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I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

👍︎ 38

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👤︎ u/Da_Brootalz

📅︎ Nov 16 2020

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I’m so glad 2020 is over, but I can’t believe we have to go through it again after 2021...

After all, it’s twenty twenty too

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Zippy_the_dog

📅︎ Dec 31 2020

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I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor

I told him they will be mist

👍︎ 624

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👤︎ u/jamiestonee

📅︎ Sep 05 2020

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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely....

.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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Dad: "I can't believe 2007 was 10 years ago."

Kid: "It wasn't..."

Dad: "I know. That's why I don't believe it."

👍︎ 87

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👤︎ u/ChewyNutCluster

📅︎ Nov 04 2020

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I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet

Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/ucbrandon

📅︎ Nov 29 2020

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I believe y is up

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/Punyae3671

📅︎ Jun 02 2020

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I can’t believe I wasted all my time trying to help rearrange the vending machines at my local grocery store...

I’ve been moving them around all day but they still say they are “Out of Order”

👍︎ 54

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Oct 22 2020

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People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....

Well I am.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Dec 02 2020

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I can’t believe somebody stole my dictionary.

I’m at a loss for words.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Oct 29 2020

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I can't believe I was able to trade a piece of fruit for a measuring device.

(Banana for scale)

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/NeverBob

📅︎ Dec 02 2020

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I believe in a cosmic force...

I am especially attracted by gravity, it keeps me grounded.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/staalmannen

📅︎ Nov 27 2020

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I believe that Jafar will, go on.

👍︎ 26

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👤︎ u/UnsteadyKoala

📅︎ Oct 20 2020

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I can't believe that somebody stole my protections spells.

I'm at a loss for wards.

👍︎ 39

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Oct 29 2020

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I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.

It's an integral part of education.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/PotaLegFinger

📅︎ Oct 26 2020

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I'm starting to believe this 'flat earth' thing...

... every photo I've seen of the earth is flat!

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/fhogrefe

📅︎ Nov 28 2020

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My GF didn’t believe I had a car made from Spaghetti

That was until I drove pasta

👍︎ 23

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👤︎ u/MJBGaming

📅︎ Oct 21 2020

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I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.

I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.

👍︎ 802

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👤︎ u/kikasphalt

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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So you don't believe that I sell plastic explosives?

C4 yourself.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/theboredpastor

📅︎ Nov 08 2020

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I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses

But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.

👍︎ 29

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👤︎ u/katskratched

📅︎ Sep 22 2020

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Bff sent this. I believe this belongs here.

👍︎ 111

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👤︎ u/BtsIsMyCupOfTae

📅︎ Jun 14 2020

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A lot of people don’t believe me when I say I have a favourite Spandeau Ballet song...

... but it’s true.

👍︎ 60

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👤︎ u/Even-Tomatillo-4197

📅︎ Aug 14 2020

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My sister didn't believe me when I told her I don't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is

It's Trudeau

👍︎ 77

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👤︎ u/eventualmente

📅︎ Aug 18 2020

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I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

👍︎ 64

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👤︎ u/Turbulent-Use7253

📅︎ Jan 16 2021

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I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/ulvain

📅︎ Feb 02 2021

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I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory!!!

all I did was take a day off

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/shadoslayer1

📅︎ Feb 05 2021

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

👍︎ 52

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👤︎ u/Papa_G_

📅︎ Nov 21 2020

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I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

👍︎ 106

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👤︎ u/nandos677

📅︎ Nov 17 2020

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I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

👍︎ 131

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👤︎ u/habsfan1112

📅︎ Oct 11 2020

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I can’t believe

2020 won.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed

📅︎ Jan 02 2021

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I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker

but when I got home, all the signs were there

👍︎ 670

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👤︎ u/FlashHash

📅︎ Aug 29 2020

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I don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis if you will.

👍︎ 960

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

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I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.

But when I got home, all the signs were there

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/edotri

📅︎ Feb 03 2020

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I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

👍︎ 111

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Jul 11 2020

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