I was arrested this morning for trying to kill a man with sandpaper,

which is ludicrous, I was only trying to rough him up a little.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DeathcampEnthusiast
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Dad Jokes I Tell My Kids

I have a 6 year-old and a 8 year-old.

Whenever my kids ask me, "Dad, can I ask you a question?" I reply, "You just did." And then smile.

Also, whenever my kids say, "Dad, guess what?" I comeback with something completely ludicrous, "Uh, you just saw an polka-dotted elephant in the kitchen and he stole your lunch?"

They do not find it humorous at all. But, I crack myself up.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 56
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/papabois
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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