[x-post /r/Jokes] [OC] An old blacksmith was working in his shop...

when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.

One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.

Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on

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👤︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
đź“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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Ice-Cream Puns

What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!


How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.


How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.


What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.


Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!


Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.


What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop


Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.


Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after

beating the shit out of you.


In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.


If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.


I try not to judge people based on first impressions but if I see you put gummy bears on your ice cream stay away from me and my family.


Guy on my train: a crowded Amtrak on a freezing day is the right time and place for me to enjoy a big ass ice cream cone


What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream


What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!


How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.


How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.


The new Baywatch Official Trailer reminds me that bathing suit season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the ice cream truck.


You can buy eel-flavored ice cream in Japan.I guess if you are out of chocolate and vanilla.


Being in a long term relationship and seeing your partner naked is like driving a hearse that plays ice cream truck music. Mixed emotions


I wish I had as much hope as the guy driving the ice cream truck around in February.


MC Hammer eats a lot of ice cream every day because as a kid his parents told him, “U Can’t Touch This”


On May 2nd a drunk driver almost ended my life.

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👤︎ u/Punsville
đź“…︎ May 27 2017
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Two guys were working on a house...

Two guys were putting siding on a house. The first guy looks over at the second guy and watches him pick up one nail and hammer it in. Then the second guy picks up another nail and throws it over his shoulder. He picks up another nail and hammers it in. Then picks up another and throws it over his shoulder. The first guy walks over to him and asks, "Hey, why the heck are you throwing those nails over your shoulder?!". Second guys says, "They're facing the wrong way!". First guys says, "You idiot! We could use those on the other side of the house!!"

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đź“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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