I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
It's called artificial scare-city
Analysts say it's the worst pundemic ever recorded in modern history.
I must have bought the right clothes, even my tracksuit pants.
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Do you think he is sandymental ?
Kate and Edith. They both found out pretty quick... taught me a good lesson... You can’t have your Kate and Edith too.
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
Kimchi Possible, obviously
Because during that time nobody throws shade!
Me: Got some engineering stuff to do.. Dad: (FAR TOO ENTHUSIASTICALLY) I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKED TRAINS!!!!
I'm calling it The Gluggenheim
- I don't know what you were talking about, she's not ugly at all
- She doesn't sweat much for a big girl
- You said she was fat, she's is not fat at all
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
