25 Hilarious Here Am I Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Guy walks into the store with a box of bees, he says excuse me ma'am, I ordered a dozen bees but when I counted them I noticed there are actually 13 in here.

She tells him not to worry about it, sometimes we give free bees.

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👤︎ u/stickmannfires

📅︎ Jun 09 2023

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I am not allowed to post my calculus joke here.

It is too derivative and even dad jokes have their limits.

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👤︎ u/Maleficent_Ant2594

📅︎ May 17 2023

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'Smoked duck, pit beef, and a fowl stew', I remembered my wife yelling at me when I'd asked her about dinner. Here I am, at the dining table, wondering why every dish tastes perfect except the stew which seems to reek of something rotten and foul.

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👤︎ u/unrequitedposts

📅︎ Feb 11 2023

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A horse walks into a pub and orders a pint. The bartender says, “You’re in here a lot, do you think you may be an alcoholic?” The horse replies , “I don’t think I am” and disappears from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy of ‘I think, therefore I am’ but to explain that before the rest of the joke is to put Descartes before the horse.

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👤︎ u/txStargazerJilly

📅︎ Sep 02 2021

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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"

"For drinking." replies the cop.

"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Dec 08 2020

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I am a mom but, here goes

Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?

You remember the a pollo missions.

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👤︎ u/NEIRBO747

📅︎ Apr 25 2021

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I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.

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👤︎ u/bbbbbeelzebob

📅︎ May 01 2021

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Get help... I am dying here

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👤︎ u/Mloxard_CZ

📅︎ May 16 2021

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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.

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👤︎ u/dannyp433

📅︎ Dec 21 2018

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And here I am a loner ;(

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👤︎ u/WetSoggyTaco

📅︎ May 31 2021

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What the hell am I dough-in’ here? I donut belong here

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👤︎ u/CosmicOli

📅︎ Mar 03 2021

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first post here, am i doing it right?

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👤︎ u/Smexy_Zarow

📅︎ Mar 02 2020

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I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic

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👤︎ u/Kokachi

📅︎ Feb 21 2020

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I've been watching giofilms and I found this so here I am

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👤︎ u/blobbyartz

📅︎ Aug 17 2019

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I am not sure if this goes here

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👤︎ u/gwgwsdaman

📅︎ Jul 24 2020

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Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?

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👤︎ u/winnieloo

📅︎ Feb 08 2019

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So no shit here I am

This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.

Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya

Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

What an awesome feeling lol

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👤︎ u/haagimus

📅︎ Jul 31 2020

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My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".

Sorry for going on a tangent

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👤︎ u/callmefinny

📅︎ Dec 21 2020

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I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

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👤︎ u/pippingigi

📅︎ Aug 14 2020

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If i post something here and nobody likes it am i a karma chameleon?

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👤︎ u/Theend_97

📅︎ Sep 16 2018

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Some people will post anything on Reddit. I am one of them. Here goes:

Anything

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👤︎ u/scardeal

📅︎ Nov 26 2019

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I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...

...It grew on me.

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👤︎ u/xThroughTheGrayx

📅︎ Dec 06 2019

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I am here because I tried to post a lame word play joke in r/jokes, but it was removed

So you might say I was PUNished...

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👤︎ u/ItstheHappyPanda

📅︎ Feb 21 2019

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Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

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👤︎ u/knowses

📅︎ May 19 2019

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Is it just me or am I alone here?

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👤︎ u/NegativePrimitive

📅︎ Dec 10 2017

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