Guy walks into the store with a box of bees, he says excuse me ma'am, I ordered a dozen bees but when I counted them I noticed there are actually 13 in here.

She tells him not to worry about it, sometimes we give free bees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stickmannfires
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2023
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I am not allowed to post my calculus joke here.

It is too derivative and even dad jokes have their limits.

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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2023
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'Smoked duck, pit beef, and a fowl stew', I remembered my wife yelling at me when I'd asked her about dinner. Here I am, at the dining table, wondering why every dish tastes perfect except the stew which seems to reek of something rotten and foul.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unrequitedposts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2023
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A horse walks into a pub and orders a pint. The bartender says, β€œYou’re in here a lot, do you think you may be an alcoholic?” The horse replies , β€œI don’t think I am” and disappears from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy of β€˜I think, therefore I am’ but to explain that before the rest of the joke is to put Descartes before the horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/txStargazerJilly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"

"For drinking." replies the cop.

"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I am a mom but, here goes

Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?

You remember the a pollo missions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NEIRBO747
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbbeelzebob
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Get help... I am dying here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mloxard_CZ
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyp433
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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And here I am a loner ;(
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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What the hell am I dough-in’ here? I donut belong here
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicOli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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first post here, am i doing it right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smexy_Zarow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kokachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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I've been watching giofilms and I found this so here I am
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobbyartz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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I am not sure if this goes here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwgwsdaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a β€œphone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it β€œPhone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winnieloo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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So no shit here I am

This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.

Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya

Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

What an awesome feeling lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haagimus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".

Sorry for going on a tangent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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If i post something here and nobody likes it am i a karma chameleon?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theend_97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Some people will post anything on Reddit. I am one of them. Here goes:

Anything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...

...It grew on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xThroughTheGrayx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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I am here because I tried to post a lame word play joke in r/jokes, but it was removed

So you might say I was PUNished...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItstheHappyPanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knowses
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Is it just me or am I alone here?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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