A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"

"For drinking." replies the cop.

"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What the hell am I dough-in’ here? I donut belong here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicOli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".

Sorry for going on a tangent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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first post here, am i doing it right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smexy_Zarow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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I am not sure if this goes here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwgwsdaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kokachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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So no shit here I am

This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.

Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya

Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

What an awesome feeling lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haagimus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyp433
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Here’s an original one I just came up with just now while watching the Behind the Curve flat earth conspiracy documentary on Netflix. It made me realize that I am a flat eyeball conspiracist.

They’re just optical illusions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabriel_Aurelius
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I've been watching giofilms and I found this so here I am
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobbyartz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a β€œphone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it β€œPhone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winnieloo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Some people will post anything on Reddit. I am one of them. Here goes:

Anything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...

...It grew on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xThroughTheGrayx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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I am just gonna leave this here...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aviq-jonathan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Am I worthy to post here yet?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJPsalm139
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Sister: Why the hell am I still down here?

Me: That's how gravity works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritSarcasm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knowses
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I am here because I tried to post a lame word play joke in r/jokes, but it was removed

So you might say I was PUNished...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItstheHappyPanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Is it just me or am I alone here?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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