Herb Hand Puns

Rosemary gave me some Sage advice - "Thyme is the greatest healer".

This is my thyme to shine

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

Dad: "You know, we're actually descendants of one of the oldest native tribes in this part of the country, right?"

Me: "Really?"

Dad: "Yeah, The Fagawee tribe. I remember when I was little, your grandpa took me on a spiritual pilgrimage through the forest. He drank a lot and smoked some native herbs. The herbs didn't seem to be working, though, because as it got darker, we seemed to be walking in circles. It was cold in the woods and we seemed to keep coming across the same old log. Finally, in the middle of my dad's spiritual trance, he fell to his knees in a clearing, raised his hands high, and proclaimed "We're the Fawagwee!"

Translation: ("Where the fuck are we?")

My Dad and I were making a batch of herb roasted nuts for my grandfather which requires meticulously picking apart fresh thyme and rosemary for chopping.

My Dad: the best part is our hands will smell great for the rest of the day!

Me: yeah, we've got too much thyme on our hands!

Dad: Hey! That's my job!