Okay, here I go...
Aeluroscalabotes felinus
Afroedura africana
Afroedura amatolica
Afroedura bogerti
Afroedura broadleyi
Afroedura gorongosa
Afroedura granitica
Afroedura haackei
Afroedura halli
Afroedura hawequensis
Afroedura karroica
Afroedura langi
Afroedura leoloensis
Afroedura loveridgei
Afroedura major
Afroedura maripi
Afroedura marleyi
Afroedura multiporis
Afroedura namaquensis
Afroedura nivaria
Afroedura pienaari
Afroedura pondolia
Afroedura pongola
Afroedura rondavelica
Afroedura rupestris
Afroedura tembulica
Afroedura tirasensis
Afroedura transvaalica
Afroedura waterbergensis
Afrogecko ansorgii
Afrogecko porphyreus
Agamura kermanensis
Agamura persica
Ailuronyx seychellensis
Ailuronyx tachyscopaeus
Ailuronyx trachygaster
Alsophylax laevis
Alsophylax loricatus
Alsophylax pipiens
Alsophylax przewalskii
Alsophylax szczerbaki
Alsophylax tadjikiensis
Altiphylax baturensis
Altiphylax levitoni
Altiphylax mintoni
Altiphylax stoliczkai
Altiphylax tokobajevi
Amalosia jacovae
Amalosia lesueurii
Amalosia obscura
Amalosia rhombifer
Aristelliger barbouri
Aristelliger cochranae
Aristelliger expectatus
Aristelliger georgeensis
Aristelliger hechti
Aristelliger lar
Aristelliger nelsoni
Aristelliger praesignis
Aristelliger reyesi
Asaccus andersoni
Asaccus arnoldi
Asaccus barani
Asaccus caudivolvulus
Asaccus elisae
Asaccus gallagheri
Asaccus gardneri
Asaccus granularis
Asaccus griseonotus
Asaccus iranicus
Asaccus kermanshahensis
Asaccus kurdistanensis
Asaccus margaritae
Asaccus montanus
Asaccus nasrullahi
Asaccus platyrhynchus
Asaccus saffinae
Asaccus tangestanensis
Asaccus zagrosicus
Atheris mabuensis
Bavayia crassicollis
Bavayia cyclura
Bavayia exsuccida
Bavayia geitaina
Bavayia goroensis
Bavayia montana
Bavayia nubila
Bavayia ornata
Bavayia pulchella
Bavayia robusta
Bavayia sauvagii
Bavayia septuiclavis
Blaesodactylus ambonihazo
Blaesodactylus antongilensis
Blaesodactylus boivini
Blaesodactylus microtuberculatus
Blaesodactylus sakalava
Blaesodactylus victori
Bunopus blanfordii
Bunopus crassicauda
Bunopus tuberculatus
Calodactylodes aureus
Calodactylodes illingworthorum
Carphodactylus laevis
Chatogekko amazonicus
Chondrodactylus angulifer
Chondrodactylus bibronii
Chondrodactylus fitzsimonsi
Chondrodactylus laevigatus
Chondrodactylus pulitzerae
Chondrodactylus turneri
Christinus alexanderi
Christinus guentheri
Christinus marmoratus
Cnemaspis aaronbaueri
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
And boy are my arms legs.
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
[Removed]
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
And now I’m cannelloni
