Haslem Puns

41-year-old Udonis Haslem tonight: 11 mins, 8/5/1, 4-8 FG

Due to Heat team injuries, Haslem has been activated in 8 games so far the season and has clocked in a respectable 52 minutes this season which is more than the 3 minutes he played last season where he sonned Dwight Howard. For reference, UD has played 193 minutes the previous 4 seasons. Glad to see Haslem hit his 12th prime.

Full quote:

"When we first walked in the bubble I let my guys know: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I set the tone for my guys: I slept on the couch. I wanted to be the first one to make myself uncomfortable. I ordered a whole load of Campbell’s Soup and a bunch of snacks that I like, and got a little water bottle and filled it up with a little Hennessy, and had a lil’ Tequila on the side. I tapped into that dark place to go out there and get it done. I didn’t speak to nobody. I only stayed in my room or played cards with Jimmy [Butler]. Even LeBron, as much as I love Bron, I didn’t hang out with Bron one time in the bubble. My guys need to understand what we’re here for. They’re young: they don’t need to see me kickin’ it with Bron, playing cards with Bron. We here for a reason. I want to beat Bron. I don’t need you confused! They don’t understand how I can kick it with somebody and wanna rip they head off.

I ain’t leave my room. I ain’t fraternize with nobody. And for three, four months, it was just about that. What pisses me off, man, is that people discredit what [the Heat] did in the bubble because we didn’t have a great season the very next season. Don’t get mad at me because your favorite team and favorite player was a mental midget in the bubble. Trying to fry chicken and have pool parties and shit, we ain’t here for that. Ain’t our fault motherfuckers was soft!...why discredit us? The Lakers ain’t make the playoffs the next season either and ain’t nobody sayin’ shit about them!...that takes nothing away from what we did the year before. Doesn’t change that Milwaukee swept us last year, we still beat they ass two years ago! It’s still in the record books! They whipped our ass and we whipped their ass."

From the recent GQ interview with Udonis Haslem, would recommend reading the entire article, some good stories and glimpses into the day to day of the team

Source

> What were your best and worst fights over the last 20 years? > > Worst fight? Me and Gary Payton got into it at practice once. I don’t know what we were talking about, but shit went left. We started arguing and Gary went and got a broomstick! Pat [Riley] kicked us outta practice. We had a game that night and me and Gary didn’t speak the whole game. He was finna hit me wit’ a broomstick! > > Best fight? Probably the one when Shaq and Pat got into it. It wasn’t even a fight, they were just going at it. The fight was me trying to hold Shaq back and he threw me like a sack of potato chips...I’m trying to save Pat’s old ass and Shaq grabbed me and swung me. He threw me down like that and I was just trying to stop him. Imagine if he really wanted a piece of me? I would’ve had to tase him! >

Wow what an interesting career - He's played in 48 games since the start of the 2016 season, and yet he's still chugging along. This is now his 19th season, all with MIA, and what I find fascinating is that his career earnings are just $68.1 million. That's an average of just $3.6 million per year, and his highest salary for a season was only $7.1 million.

There was like a 7 year stretch where Haslem was a 10 and 8 guy, and I just have to wonder if there were ever any better offers that came in.

I don't know, I just find it odd that Haslem, who has always been a solid but otherwise unspectacular player, is the guy who sticks around with the same team until he's 41. I'm sure the fact that his team is MIA plays a major role (the Spurs are the only other team I can think of who would consider keeping a guy around that long), but he's the oldest player in the league by 4 years. I also have to wonder how many more years he's got in the tank!

(source)

>“It’s over with, man. It’s over with,” Heat team captain Udonis Haslem said to the Miami Herald ahead of Monday’s home game against the Nuggets (7:30 p.m., Bally Sports Sun and NBA TV). “Nobody got time for that. Life is too short. It’s over with. It happened. In the heat of the moment, everybody reacted. OK, let’s move on. It’s over with. It is so far over with. I don’t have time for that. You’re talking to somebody who has seen everything but the wind. I’ve seen it all. That’s over with.”

The 41 year old Miami Heat "team captain" has played in about 85 games since 2015, including less than 10 games total in the last 3 seasons.

Why keep him on the roster? I understand the loyalty from Miami, but why not just move him the the front office and clear the cap and roster space? Does he have a secret Bobby Bonilla-type contract?

He shot 100% last season. Why not retire on top then? 2/2 in 1 gp for the year.

No hate, just curious.

In his 18 year career with Miami so far (2003-2021), he's played and made the finals with:

• Wade/Shaq (2006)

• LeBron/Wade (2011-2014)

• Butler (2020)

That would be equivalent to a player playing on the Magic, Shaq/Kobe and Kobe/Pau Western Champion Laker teams if they played with the Lakers from 1990 through 2008.

• Magic (1991)

• Shaq/Kobe (2000-2002)

• Kobe/Pau (2008-2010)

Vince Carter almost did it at 43 and Nat Hickey stopped at 45. Do you think Udonis will be aiming for that title or is he retiring soon? Wish I could do Polls but sadly no

Source tweet from Ian Winderman

> Udonis Haslem (2:52) has now played more in this game than he did all of last season.

With Adebayo and Dedmon in foul trouble, 40 year old Udonis Haslem logs more minutes in just a short spurt than he did all of last season. Let the record show he hit a shot too! What a dog

>Udonis Haslem took more shots in the only quarter he played this season (2 shots in 3 mins) than Ben Simmons did the last 6 4th quarters (1 shot in 44 mins).

statmuse tweet

Haslem made both of his shot 2 attempts in the 3 minutes he played in the heat vs 76ers game

Simmons did not take a shot in the 4th quarter of game 2. He took 1 shot in game 3, then did not take a single shot in the 4th quarters of games 4-7 of the ECF vs Atlanta. In these 4 games (4-7), Simmons only had 6 total points in the 4th quarters, all from free throws (6/12 on FTs)

Out of all the NBA players in terms of skills and production he has to be the worst. He’s 41 and can’t even shoot threes. He’s obviously currently on the Heat because they’re showing loyalty to him and so he can provide veteran leadership. But in terms of actual basketball skills there’s probably hundreds of players not in the NBA that are better than him. The Heat could just give him a coaching job to show loyalty, idk why they’re adamant on him continuing to be a player.

Top 15 in charges drawn per game last season

1. Udonis Haslem (1.00) *
2. Kemba Walker (0.51) 43 Games
3. Henry Ellenson (0.50) 2 Games
4. Jay Scrubb (0.50) 4 Games
5. Blake Griffin (0.48) 46 Games
6. Kyle Lowry (0.43) 46 Games
7. Derrick White (0.39) 36 Games
8. Victor Oladipo (0.36) 33 Games
9. Montrezl Harrell (0.32) 69 Games
10. Moritz Wagner (0.31) 45 Games
11. Marcus Smart (0.29) 48 Games
12. Thaddeus Young (0.28) 68 Games
13. Draymond Green (0.27) 63 Games
14. Michael Carter-Williams (0.26) 31 Games
15. Alex Caruso (0.26) 58 Games

*played one game (ejected 2 Minutes After Checking Into Season Debut)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDn3dd3kDUU

Source

https://www.nba.com/stats/players/hustle/?sort=CHARGES_DRAWN&dir=1