My 15 month old daughter has been saying "momma" and "dadda" a lot now, and I tried using this to my advantage...
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesn’t use Reddit). 😂
The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
A technique that has been used for decades
Me: my nose has been running for days, I hope I’m not getting a cold
Wife: probably just allergies, the air is full of pollen
Me: I guess you could say I’m snotty by nature
My friend has been going on and on at me to stop doing flamingo impressions.
In the end, I had to put my foot down.
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
NEWS FLASH! The toilet has been stolen from the local police station.
Police say they've got nothing to go on.
Wanted: A man who has been stealing wheels from police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Sorry if this has been done before, I’m new to the sub
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
My dog has been chasing a guy on a scooter down the street.
I took the scooter away from my dog.
It’s hard to believe that it has been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like only yesterday.
Renovating the house has been a mixed bag
First floor has gone great, but the second floor is another story
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...
That's pretty good thyme-Ming.
Your car has been keyed
But the good news is that the damage appears to B minor.
Did y'all hear that Thanos has been committed to an insane asylum?
"The Road you've taken has been paved by your own decisions"
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.
We don't have Oleg to stand on.
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual
It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!
My brother has been making amazing chicken on the grill for as long as I can remember.
I’d say he’s a seasoned pro.
A truckload of toupees has been stolen...
...Police are combing the area for clues.
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
TV repair during the pandemic has been pretty easy.
Has anyone been to Engagement, Ohio ?
It's a little place between Dayton and Marion.
The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...
Philately will get you nowhere
My aunt Marie has been keeping track of her frozen dinner purchases.
It's Marie's Marie Callender's calendar.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude.
I personally am on the fence
Have you heard, the sequel to 2020 has has been postponed?
2022 won’t be arriving for at least a year.
My colorblind son has been getting into music lately.
He really likes the Greens
My dad has been going through a lot of hard ships lately…
He dismantles them for a living.
Just heard that the Energizer Bunny has been arrested
He's been charged with battery
The deal has been sealed.
What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
Mr. Cooper has been working so much lately, he's feeling less and less like himself.
What he needs is a night of rest and re-Cooperation.
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
Rumor has it that I’ve been sentenced to the gallows.
Please collect me if I’m wrung.
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual
It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!
A man has been stealing wheels off police cars
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
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