Gust lock Puns

I'm in SE michigan, the weather is unseasonably warm and the evenings have been a wonderful 60°F lately. For me, that means every window in the house open all day and night!

I have a significant distance between me and my neighbors, and a balcony that looks into some woods. The frogs at night and the birds in the morning are wonderful to relax to. However, I underestimated how good raccoons are at climbing.

Despite having no stairs on my balcony, when I went to get water at 2:30 a.m. last night, a raccoon was curiously exploring my balcony. If he wanted to, he could have simply slid open the screen door and gotten into the house. I know I can't stop them from exploring, but those doors will remain latched at night from now on!

I’m on iOS 15.0.1, iPhone 13 Pro. Just opened my app to see suddenly I can lock/unlock/turn in hazard lights and access guest driver settings! Does not appear vehicle finder features are included though.

Edit: and just as suddenly as it appeared…it disappeared. 11/6/21

Today the winds at my airport were 35kts gusting 45kts at their highest and even with two gust locks on each flap, you could get a deflection of almost 30 degrees! See video at the 14 sec mark.

Is there a better way to hold the flaps together?

Sincerely, a pilot concerned about the hinges on his plane.

As my wind is locked to 225/3 again, I tried to set a manual wind layer (20.000 ft, 293/13).

That works, but the gust setting is locked to 50% of the wind speed, which makes the air extremely bumpy. I tried to move the slider and set a number by typing it in. As soon as I leave that field it's reset to 50%.

Am I doing something wrong or is that another bug?

I enjoyed playing the other classes too, especially the shield one since I like playing support characters when I don't feel like I'm doing too well.

I really liked playing Marauder simply because I like it more aesthetically, never been much of a fan of "stealthy assassins" types.

I understand that is mainly focused on killing and chasing, which he does really well, but the lack of defensive skills or flexibility in his skills it's too apparent for me. Whenever someone manages to get behind me is impossible for me to shake them off simply because we all have the same speed and maneuverability, so no matter how many twists and turns I make there is no real way for me to escape.

It'd be nice if we had some sort of general skill that everyone can use to shake off pursuers or for Marauder's skill to be reworked into something more flexible besides "Mark this dude and kill him"

I’ve posted this in the wendigo community I’m in, but I also wanted to share this here to see if anyone else has any intel that can help me since the other community seems to be pretty quiet.

I realize how unbelievable this story might be, but I assure you it’s entirely true. I’ve had countless experiences with the supernatural since I was 4 (I’m 33 now), but this is one of the most terrifying ones I’ve had. I’ve looked at some of the stories in this community to see if there’s anything I haven’t discovered yet. I thought that if I shared my encounter here, there might be someone who has some information that could help. Please don’t comment if you don’t believe in the supernatural. I’ve seen skeptics plastering their 2 cents on some posts. I’m looking for legitimate information. My questions are at the end of this. Thanks in advance!

I had an experience with a wendigo this fall in early October in Northern Minnesota in a state forest, very close to, if not on, a reservation. I’ve always heard that speaking of them can draw them to you…but I hadn’t thought of or listened to any wendigo stories any time close to my encounter. I was staying with some very dear friends, I’ll call them M and C, and they have a camper in their yard by the lake for guests to sleep in. I had walked down to the camper from the house with my miniature Dachshund, Eboni, around midnight and found that I needed to set some things up, primarily the heater. By the time I was done getting everything in order, it was approximately 1:30. I never thought to lock the door because, really, I figured it’s in the middle of the woods so there was nothing to worry about. I was wrong.

I had closed the curtains (thank GOD!) and I was having trouble falling asleep because my anxiety was going mad, M and C’s dogs were barking outside, and their geese wouldn’t stop honking. Eboni, who usually sleeps under the covers, was sitting on my hip while I laid on my side, and I could feel her turning her head back and forth, like she was trying to track something outside. I tried tucking her under the blankets to calm her down, but she kept returning to her perch on my hip.

I have no idea how long I laid there…I would say at least 40 minutes, when all of a sudden I heard M’s voice outside the camper: “Anybody in there? Hmmmm…” And what sounded like CLAWS dragged down the side of the camper.

I ALMOST called back to “her,” when I realized #1.) she and C were both fast asleep by now, and #2.) M knew I wa

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Every editor I’ve spoken to has rejected this story.

“People don’t like to read a bunch’a sad facts without any conclusion,” a traditional newspaperman scoffed, puffing on his cliche cigar and brushing his comb-over. “I mean, that’s all you got here, really. Just a bunch’a freaky coincidences.”

‘Fact-checkers would have a field day with this,’ the director of a reputable magazine typed in her rejection email. ‘Where’s your proof?’

My contact at a hip blog denied my submission by text message: I cant post this. Everybodys moved on from the whole MISSING TEEN! craze. Its just not trending. Sorry.

So here I am. In this corner of the internet. The last refuge of the mad, the terrified, and the desperate to be believed.

…and I’m starting to think I might be all three.

Awhile back I did a piece on youth runaways. In it, I wrote about how I found and gained the trust of teens who didn’t want to be found, from crust punk buskers to anonymous victims living in big-city shelters far from home. I guess that was what attracted Saul Blankenship’s attention.

Saul and his wife Paula were at the end of the rope with their daughter Esther. An honors student in middle school, she started hanging out with a different crowd her sophomore year. When Esther was fourteen, her parents were already taking her for college visits and discussing full academic scholarships. By the time she was seventeen, they were praying that she could stay clean for just one whole month.

“We gave her everything.” Saul told me in a tearful phone call. “Everything–and she spit it back in our faces. You can’t imagine the helplessness. The frustration. Your kid who you took for pony-rides and cheered for in school plays, slamming her door and screaming I hate you! Then sneaking out to shoot up with a bunch of…”

Paula and Saul had tried therapy and rehab: neither worked. The hard truth was, it was doubtful that Esther was going to graduate, and her parents only had money for one more solution. It was this, or nothing.

“The more extreme the method, the more it appealed to us.” Paula confessed later. “The more they promised, the more we believed.” That’s how they found–

LAST STOP ACADEMY

*Scare your kid straight…before its too late! Our intensive program offers a secure location free of dangerous temptations. We give your troubled teen a greater purpose–you will never see them the same way again! That’s our promise to you: a 100% success rate. Yes, concerned parents, you

My sister and I have always had the whole ‘twin-tuition’ thing going on. Our parents joked that we spoke our own secret language—one without syllables or sentences. We just understood each other, y’know?

Not gonna lie, our ‘link’ came in super useful. Like during a pop quiz, Alex would pretend to stretch her neck and glance in my direction, and the look on her face would tell me: what did you get for number 4?

And then I’d raise an eyebrow. I put ‘B’, but I’m not 100% sure.

This other time, when we were out with a group of friends at the bowling alley, she scratched her nose, which was her way of saying: Allie, that Tyler guy in your lane is super cute, ask him out!

Then I curled my bottom lip. No way, his man bun smells like cheese!

There were times I hated being a twin, like when we had to put up with dirty jokes or got treated like one person. I mean, okay, we looked identical, but there were SOME differences; arts and crafts were my jam whereas she was always the sporty one. Overall, though, I loved having her as a sister. And I loved our special bond.

But today, that bond just sort of…vanished.

It started with a premonition. We both got those anytime something bad happened. Like once, out of nowhere, Alex ran into the lounge and told our parents, “Allie just hurt herself.” And at that exact moment, more than six miles away, I’d stepped into a ditch and rolled my ankle. This other time, a voice in the back of my mind told me Alex needed me, and I called her before her asshole ex could even finish dumping her.

But this latest premonition was worse than all those others combined. It started with the taste of bile in the back of my throat, then images of hands closing around Alex’s neck swirled through my mind. I watched her face turn lobster red as her eyeballs rotated outward. I could almost hear her choked screams.

When she didn’t answer her phone, there was this overwhelming, almost dizzying need to hold her—to make sure she was safe—so I raced home, charged up the stairs, and burst into our room.

Alex, who was crouched alongside our bunk beds, casually stood and said, “Hey.”

That confused me. I threw my arms around her and said, “Please, please tell me you’re okay?”

She screwed up her face and shrugged me off, in a very unAlex-like way. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

I kept my eyes fixated on her, my body still rigid and shaking. “I got this feeling like you were in trouble.”

“Nope. False alarm.”

I surveyed the room. In the corner, A

Ok so for some backstory I live in a almost all Jewish community In Texas I am 14 there are only 2 houses that are not Jewish. My family are Orthodox Jews but my aunts and cousins are not, we still have them over for Hanukkah at least for 2-4 nights bc my school gets off 4 days for Hanukkah and it is nice to see them. This does not normally cause any issues but for the past year or so my aunt has become more picky and self entitled.

This following Hanukkah we were having them over for 2 days and the first problem accrued when they first arrived McDonald’s in hand, now my family’s rules are no non kosher food in the house but they were almost done so my mom let it slide.

The second problem was when we sat down for lunch that day my mom, me and my 4 siblings all helped make a big meal while my cousins were playing Xbox upstairs. We yelled to them that it was time to eat so they came down. Bc there is 7 of us normally we have a 8 person table so I just went and got 2 extra chairs and thought nothing abt it. Now My aunt was mad that I put my little cousins chair next to mine idk why so I just moved it. During the whole dinner my aunt was making disgusted faces.

The third problem was after dinner when we’re lighting the candles I asked my cousins to pls put on a kippah(the little hat men were) as all the boys in a room of prayer do so and they did so no problem but my aunt saw that as a problem and as me trying to force them into religion so I told them they can go upstairs while we do this but my cousins wanted to watch so my dad escorted my aunt to the other room and all we herd was banging from the door, keep in mind it was not locked and she knew that. After that my cousins slept with me and my little brother and my aunt slept in the gust room witch she was also mad about.

Skip ahead to the next day at dinner my aunt said that she found a really good kosher restaurant and it was on its way to our house so we had nothing cooked or ready to eat at the moment. 20 min pass and the doorbell rings and I open the door to a few bags that say KFC I tell the driver that he must have the wrong hose and my aunt steps in and takes the food. My mom and my family were pissed bc my aunt knew our rules and still knowing violated them, and lied about it. And it wasn’t the first time it had happened either. My mom kicked them out of our house and I haven’t seen her since but I do still play Xbox with my cousin.

City apartments are rough. My first two places were both basements, because that's what you can afford these days if you're looking to live alone. Third place, no lie, had a window facing a brick wall only three feet away. I was never looking for a spectacular view, I just wanted a decent window. Until last month, when I got one.

I moved in December 1st, to this super small, but super decent apartment only a few minute walk from the subway. The main living space extended from the kitchen, and a flimsy sliding door separated that from a small bedroom space. And the east wall of that bedroom space? A floor to ceiling window. Sure, it only overlooked the dirty street ahead, a small coffee place, and a huge community housing building, but my God -- the air, the sounds, the sunlight. It was perfect. And so shockingly affordable!

I'll make a note here, that I've never been much of a horror movie person. Just never caught my interest. So, when I couldn't find any bug reports on the building, it just seemed like a lucky break.

Anyway, after settling my debt with my moving helpers (A six pack of beer and a large pizza, obviously), they were off on their way and I began putting together my home. I started with the Wifi and living space so I could work to some tunes, then unboxed some stuff for the kitchen. As I was sliding some plates into my cupboard, a knock came at my door. Shit, maybe my music was too loud.

Standing on the other side of the door was a small woman woman wearing a hijab. I smiled apologetically. "Sorry, is the music too loud?"

"No, it's fine. The walls here are good," she assured me. "I wanted to say hello, welcome you to the building."

"Oh!" I hadn't expected such a warm reception. I'd never been greeted by a neighbor in any of my previous places. "Thanks so much! I'm Louis." She shook my hand.

"Quibla. Love to meet you." She peered into my apartment. "This looks good. Do you need curtains? I can give you some. I have extra."

"Thanks, but I'll get around to it. I'm excited to get some December sunlight coming through," I said with a laugh. She didn't laugh.

"It is no problem. They are lovely curtains. And you need your privacy," she said.

I chuckled, feeling some tension in the air. "I'll make sure to get some curtains up soon. In the meantime, I'll hide all this," I gestured to my lackluster physique. "Under wraps."

Again, no reaction from my neighbor. A moment later, she forced a small laugh, then nodded. "If you need anything,

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

“CIRCLE OF DEATH!”

Keira spun her greatsword in a wide arc, cleaving through both the Blightspawn in front of her and the one that had been attempting to sneak up from behind. Her blade split open mutated flesh like it was a knife cutting hot butter, scoring deep lines across the Blightspawn’s torsos that wept gray blood. Keira didn’t bother feeling triumphant – considering how effective the abominations’ regeneration was, those wounds were barely worth the 50 MP she’d spent to inflict them.

Knocking both creatures away from her, thereby giving her a much-needed moment to focus on one? Now that was worth 50 MP.

“POWER SLASH!” Keira slammed her beloved partner down onto the first Blightspawn’s back, piercing through its body and into the ground. The beast, a crocodile-thing with two heads and serrated skin, writhed frantically as it struggled in vain to escape from the slab of steel that was pinning it in place. As the second Blightspawn rallied to its friend’s aid, claws outstretched towards Keira's unprotected back, Keira used the momentum of her swing to vault herself straight over the first Blightspawn and land behind its tail. With both creatures taken off guard, and one heavily injured, Keira ripped her greatsword out of the crocodile-thing’s back and beat the everloving shit out of it until it stopped moving.

Reached Level 41!
5 Stat Points Gained!

Warrior Level Increased! 37 → 38

4 Points in Strength, 1 in Vitality. For once, her allocation choice wasn’t based solely on her personal preferences – raw power was the key to killing monstrosities that were fueled by Blight-born vitality. The remaining Blightspawn warbled in outrage as it spewed fire, breathing gusts of flame out from compressed sacks of air embedded within its skin. Danger Sense guided Keira’s steps as she jumped to the side well before its attack reached her. She eyed her MP, currently sitting at 150, and decided: fuck it.

“SPEAR OF STEEL!” Keira launched her greatsword like a javelin, crushing the Blightspawn’s head into a gooey red paste. She rushed forward as the blade reappeared back in her hand, preparing a follow-up attack to prevent the beast from regaining its footing.

Then Meyneth tore its spine out.

Keira skidded to a halt. She stared at the Dragonkin in utter bafflement, her posture frozen in the middle of executing a sword strike. Meyneth definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago. Yet there she was, tearing the Blightspawn to shreds as she bellowe

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

And now I’m cannelloni