A list of puns related to "Gunpoint (video game)"
So no shit, there we were...
We? We were a total of eight people. We were the cripple brigade. The useless. The invalid.
We, at around the midpoint of a two-week FTX, were the ones that had injured themselves somehow. There was a broken arm, a mild concussion, a partially torn achilles tendon (that was me), a broken finger... In short, we were incapable of training in a meaningful way. Well, maybe as unusually realistic casualties, but Big Man (Battalion CO) disapproved of that, lest we got even more broken.
So, we were put to the most useful work we could do: Guard the ammo dump. The entrance area was two 40ft sea cans, side by side, with about 20ft between them. A third one was laid across one end of these, forming a rudimentary gate house (as a side note: This had been done because the actual gate had burned down a few weeks prior). We had wood stoves for heaters and a generator out back, so it was an okay life, especially since one of us had brought his at the time newfangled 3G modem, and we could just barely get Polish Vodafone internet if we taped it to a long stick.
I personally was near the tail end of my second day there, particularly pissed off about it because I knew I'd be missing the Munitionsvernichtungsschiessen ("Ammo destruction shoot", a thing we do with ammo close to hitting it's use-by date), and there were literally hundreds of Panzerfaust 3 involved.
On that evening, another unit that was playing in the same training area and using the same dump showed up to dump the ammo they hadn't used that day. No problem, lemme check if you're on the list, y'all are, go right on in, and don't forget to sign out or we'll be mad and shake our invalid fists at you and maybe even give you a dirty look, have a nice evening.
Later that night, about 0030, a single Marder from that unit rocks up to the gate, at speed. Broken finger gal goes out there, checks the occupants against the list, and.... reaches for her radio. Shit. "Yo Klaus, this guy's not on the list, but he's a Captain, and he doesn't like it."
"Yeah, I'll be out". So I grab my weapon, equip myself with crutches, and mosey on down. "Evening Captain, what can we do for you?"
At this point, he's being nice. Asks how I got injured ("Rope bridge wanted to go left, my ass went right, crack, ouch"), and wants to be let in.
"Sorry Sir, you're not on the list."
"Sergeant, I very much am."
"No Sir. I'll check it again just to be sure... No Sir, you are not on the list. Let me call Battal
... keep reading on reddit β‘A friend and I were robbed at gunpoint last night, at S & 13th by Dad's Sandwiches. I am not sure why I am posting this - a warning? Not sure that it could have been prevented by anything we had done? But holy shit Sacramento. Never have I ever.
Which do you choose and why?
(original prompt here)
When God appeared in front of me, my first reaction was to sock her in the gut.
βIββ God began to say, but I stomped on her toes, getting a satisfying crunch, and screamed over her.
βIβm not dying!β I shouted. βI have a life, kids, a family, a wifeβI canβt die now! Go away!β I swung a haymaker punch at her head, bouncing it back, but she barely even blinked.
βIβm God. You canβt punch me to death. Look, Iβm just here to talk, okay? If youβd stopβoh, for Godβs sake!β That last part burst from her lips as I headbutted her in the nose. βLook. You canβt hurt me, okay? Donβt believe me? Here.β
And to my horror, God materialized a gun in one hand and shot herself.
Blood spurted from her dark, smooth skin, splattering on my picnic cloth, and for a horrified moment all I could think of was that it would attract antsβor, at least, it would if time wasnβt standing still. The honking Newtongales, the chirps of city traffic, the rustles of the tree behind my backβeverything but the drip-drip-drip of the blood from Godβs chest had frozen when God arrived.
Then God smiled and shook her head. She was quite attractive, in a foreign wayβI wouldβve placed her as from Mainland Japan, or perhaps as Centrian, if she wasnβtβ¦ well, if she wasnβt God. βSee? I canβt feel pain, so you can stop punching me now. This body, itβs just an avatar. Like one of your video games. Youβ¦ did develop video games this time around, right?β
I blinked, the fear and rage singing through my veins slowly boiling down at the non sequitur. βUm. I, uh, my daughterβs been saving up for Samyazaβs Revenge III. She wasββ
ββso excited that her father was finally willing to let her buy Samyazaβs Revenge, even when Elciβs been practically playing since she was born, and everyone at school has a cooler mom than me and itβs just not fair?β Godβs eyes twinkled. βI know.β
βOh.β I sighed, rubbing my forehead. The panic Iβd felt when God had materialized next to me slowly began to fade. Of course she knew. She was God.
And somehow, it was only then that reality sank in. She had materialized from nowhere, stopped time, and knew everything about my life and family. God was really here, talking to me.
And there was only one reason why God ever appeared to people.
I was about to die.
βSoβ¦ howβs it going to happen?β I asked. I made a show of standing up and peering und
... keep reading on reddit β‘Title pretty much sums it up.
This happened to me a few days ago in Mexico City. I normally run in the morning but this time I went for my run around 6 pm, which is the time sun starts going down. I ran to a large public park where I've ran multiple times before, be it morning or evening, always felt safe. There is a large road with bike lanes on both sides plus a walkers/runners route with distance markings. I don't know why, I guess it wasnt dark enough or dark long enough yet, but the street lights were off. I met like two runners going in the opposite direction and about 15 seconds later I hear a motorcycle behind me slowing down. It gets very close next to me, on it I think 3 guys. They cut in front of me and I know shit's going down. They stop and one of them starts getting of the vehicle. I want to change direction and run for the trees in hopes of losing them there. But I slip, fall to the ground and the next thing I know the guy is pointing a gun at me saying to give him all I got. So I give him my phone and my watch, that was all I had on me. Then they drove away. I've honestly never been more terrified than in the moment I realized I slipped and was helpless on the ground. Bruised my fingers, elbow, side, back and knee. I of course reported the incident to the police.
The next day I was still shook. I am normally quite objective but a thought of running again was making me kinda sick. That also scared me, because running is definitely my coping mechanism. When I feel lost, angry or just need to think, I run. And even though I am still scared to run and the sound of a motorcycle now seems to trigger me, I went for a run today, no watch of course lol. And it was good. And I realised that I can't let something like this take running away from me, even if it might be a bit scary right now. 12 weeks of HM training ahead, let's go.
So yeah, sorry, just needed to write something. Stay safe out there guys and have a great new year of running!
PS Kinda sucks that run ain't on strava lol
Edit: This post kinda blew up. Thanks to all of you for sharing your advice. I see that many of you have had a similar experience and it kinda blows my mind. I hope that those of you who have experienced something super shitty are doing well or at least are on your way. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. To all the others, running is a great sport and the chance of something like this happening are super fucking small. Just stay aware out there. Just
... keep reading on reddit β‘I moved back home to finish my last semester of college, and my parents have asked for help since I've always been close to my brother. He's addicted to video games and won't do schoolwork. I feel like I've basically been parenting him in this regard. I check on him constantly every night at the expense of the flow of my own schoolwork, check his homework every night, and have had COUNTLESS talks with him. In return, he lies to me about hw, sneaks into my room when I'm not home to play on my PC, and overall does not seem to be taking shit seriously.
My parents nag me at home to check on him. If he's missing homework, it's "you didn't check his homework last night?" or "why is he missing homework again?" which stresses me out. I've tried to tell them so many times that I need some help too- make sure he doesn't go into my room when I'm not home, maybe turn off the wifi at 12, or take away his phone/laptop at 12, IDFK. SOMETHING. I think it's important for parents to be involved in discipline too. I also think it's a mixed message to have me be strict with him and have them be so lenient. I mean, they got him an iPhone 12 + a brand new MacBook in September and won't enforce any consequences, ffs.
If I bring this up, they get mad at me and tell me "we can't control him" or "that's not the solution" or "fine then just don't help anymore." Except he's my little brother, with a serious discipline issue that isn't entirely his fault. I love him and don't want him to limit his future prospects prematurely just bc he doesn't know better.
I work a full-time office job, and have completed 6 classes + a 40 page thesis between September and December. I've been pretty stressed out, have had so little free time, and haven't hung out with anyone. Some weekends I go visit my bf, which is always amazing and worth it but a super physically exhausting journey (8+ hours).
I'm so angry with my brother for constantly lying/sneaking around and using my things without my permission. I'm grateful to my parents for letting me move back in (they love me and my mom cooks for me all the time, etc), but I have my own shit to deal with. Them nagging me to help them with this means I'm constantly stressed at home. I also got robbed at gunpoint in September and have been going through trying to get therapy/testifying in court/etc. I'm so burnt out, have no time or energy to take care of myself bc it just goes to everyone around me, and I'm getting resentful of everyone. It's also makin
... keep reading on reddit β‘He was walking on a dark street between macys and suffolk dorms, thankfully he only lost his new iphone but still an awful experience. I swear his luck is awful :(
Listening to Police calls in Tampa and hear a call go out that DoorDash driver here in Tampa just had a gun pulled on him while making a Delivery at University Mall Apartments . on Aarans Pond Dr. University, FL 33612 . Driver stated that the customer at the apartment where he was supposed to make the delivery came out of the apartment , pulled the gun on him and his girlfriend who was in the car with him then ran back into the apartment and closed the door. It sounds as though maybe the customer may have robbed the driver of the delivery .
I am still listening in for further details at :
https://youtu.be/jWq7eFkYk8I
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