Me: Cats. Cats love fish.
If you don’t, they’ll just go in one year and right out the other.
The Carroty Kid
Dad: "No, you did great!"
ground them.
A joke, dad.
That's when everything went downhill.
They're well rounded.
They never get old.
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
'What are the reasons?'
'#1, and #2'
'Oh grandpa...'
'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'
'Stoooop'
'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'
Back in my day we had to watch our AD in 480i
Because let me tell you, it is never on time.
But other words, not so much.
Because he's very Andy.
They've all groan.
Catch you next fall.
So some birds were flying over us in that V-shape they tend to fly in, and my old man looked up, almost in awe, and said to me:
Dad: Wow, look at those birds, son. See how they fly in that V shape?
Me (in a genuine child-like awe): Yeah, that's cool, dad.
Dad: See how one side of the V is longer than the other?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: You know why that is?
Me: No, why?
Dad: Cause there are more birds on that side, dumbass.
I was told this belonged here..
When I was about 13 yrs old, I was playing basketball at the rec league by my house. During one of the games, an opponent was fouled. So we are lined up waiting for him to shoot his foul shots, and my coach sends in a substitute player for me. So I'm jogging towards the bench. When I get about 10-15ft away from the bench, I tripped and slide head-first into the bench. The whole gym let's out an, "ooohhh....", and just as it gets quiet, my dad stands up on the other side of the gym and like an umpire in baseball yells, "SAFE!"
After the game, I yelled at him for it. His response... "Hey, I could've called you 'out!'"
They're High Larious!
You can call me Dad A or Dad B, but don't you dare call me Dad E.
My wife and I are driving down the pothole-filled road to our daycare, which is in a church.
As we pull up, I say, "It's fitting that daycare is in a church, because this is a really holy road."
The resulting groan was proof that I have made it as a dad.
Son #2 was telling Son #1 about the deer he saw out the window while we were driving somewhere:
S2 - "Yeah, it was just standing on the side of the road eating grass. It was a buck!"
S1 - "Cool."
Me - "You sure it wasn't a buck fifty?"
Kids laughed and wife eye-rolled. It was great!
“A cat” I said. “Cats love fish.
