As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."

"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.

As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 147
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2021
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That's just not a good day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
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My boss told me to have a good day ...

so I went home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 174
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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My son came out with this one today; My teacher told me to have a good day...

So I went home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DjangoVanTango
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.

It’s a drama dairy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...

It becomes tearable

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Love_and_Poop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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help!! anyone know any good history valentine’s day puns?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ry2232
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2021
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I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/und88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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Remember the good old days, when we used to eat cake, after someone blew all over it ?

Man....we were wild .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Took a pretty good picture of the meteor shower a few days ago.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 156
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShaunRyk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2020
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A good title for a conservative news article a couple days ago when Trump declared β€œStop the count!” after Biden started making gains but Trump still could’ve shocked the world would’ve been...

β€œTrump’s Not Down For the Count”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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I found a good IKEA joke the other day.

But it needs a bit of a set up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 163
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mpschmidtlein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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Ordered a vacuum a few days back. Good quality, though the product was a little sucky.

https://preview.redd.it/05c4ayjw55m51.png?width=288&format=png&auto=webp&s=40eb4d62a8ab9c00eac11c75f34ac611a41c910d

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/That_Lonely_Pretzel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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My wife decided today would be a good day for her water to break.

It's Labor Day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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I couldn’t think of a good Blue Cheese joke to share for my Cheese Day...

So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... cheesiest... joke that you’ve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!

Edit: Apparently that’s a Cake. Damn it. I probably could have found a sweet cake joke to use.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AFUSMC74
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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I was having a good day until I stopped to pet a duck in the park....

Now I'm feeling a little down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/arege_arege
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
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I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, β€œHave a good day, son.” I replied, β€œDon’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...

β€œNo, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
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Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.

Now I’m just dating myself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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My Grandma was talking about the good old days and said β€œin my day we could leave the door unlocked and not worry about it!” and β€œwe grew up with nothing but we were happy”...

I replied β€œWell Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but you grew up with nothing because you kept leaving the door unlocked!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 425
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the-howl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
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I was having a bad day so I bought a bottle of vodka,gin and whisky and put them in an elevator and sent them to the top floor. Didn’t have a good reason,

Just needed something to lift my spirits

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire. v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brystander
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
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What does Moby Dick say when he had a good day?

That was some time whale spent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fera-Florez
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2020
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Have a good day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/milkmakesyoufart
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2019
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A good start to the day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/clambuttocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2019
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The trident gave me some really good advice the other day

A trid-ent true method

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i-love-potatos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2019
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Made my 11 yr old laugh and my wife roll her eyes this kornint. It was a good day.

My 2 yr old is constantly dropping small toys down the grate on the air return and a couple rolled out if site. This morning, I stuck my head down it and found a couple the had been missing for a couple weeks. Yay, dad!

My wife told me "She likes to drop her toys down there when she's angry."

I told her "you can't be upset. She's just venting!"

Groans and laughs ensued.

Edit: "this morning." What the hell is a kornint?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tbare
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2017
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It was a good day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 177
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2018
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Good day and all that.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maghliona
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2018
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Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
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A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day." twitter.com/meganamram/st…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MistakesNeededMaking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2018
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Kids these days with ADHD don’t know how good they have it.

Back in my day we had to watch our AD in 480i

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/An_AvailableUsername
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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When they have a good day at the Formica plant...

Was it counterproductive?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EngineersAnon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2019
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"An apple a day keep the doctor away" they say, but only if you have good aim.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geekcommunicant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2019
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The perfect outfit can make a good day great

https://i.redd.it/32qkvjdpobk21.jpg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Berrrrrrrrrt_the_A10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
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A good set of dad jokes for a rainy day

Ouch I'm in alot of rain. What the hail. You little sleet. Sorry for raining on your parade I thought it would be snow problem. I'm going to sleet. What don't give me the cold shoulder. It's ice to see you. Water you doing. Fin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Axd109
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2019
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Some people just can't appreciate a good dad joke these days :/

I can't post a picture so here
Also, I know this isn't really a joke post, so I'll just put one here.
Where do horses live?
In a neeeeeeighborhood!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shadowbandits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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That’s right. Good day malady
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grizzly1208
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2018
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A silly idea I've had for a while and today seemed like a good day to draw it. imgur.com/a/nJza5
πŸ‘οΈŽ 116
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CleverLittleDoodle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2016
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Good Friday is a sad day

And tomorrow is a Saturday

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/warmLuke0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2019
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Already not having a good day, this is the last straw!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InquisitivePeabody
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2018
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Today was a good day. I'd rate it 10/10
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/---PerforatedLine---
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2018
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My boss told me to have a good day...

I said sure and headed home

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomsarc2005
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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My boss told me to have a good day,

so I went home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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My boss told me to have a good day ...

... so I went home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/randomredditor512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2019
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My boss told me to have a good day.

So, I went home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/conspicuous_red
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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