Old but gold
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
When I was at school I had it tough. Other kids would throw lumps of gold at me.
I was a victim of bullion.
π︎ 52
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︎ May 01 2021
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since heβs moved away, he wonβt paint any more.
I guess heβs now an ex-cape-artist...
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 04 2021
My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold β¦
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Chemist n Plumber
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Gold peanuts
π︎ 43
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︎ Mar 24 2021
A SMALL CARTOON MAN.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Old But Gold.
π︎ 15
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Discord chats sometimes have gold
π︎ 18
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Old Gold
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
I pulled a muscle while digging up gold
π︎ 113
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My daughter told me nothing rhymes with orange. I told her sheβs wrong.
Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
What's the difference between Michelob ultra and pure gold?
One is a minor fined, the other is a miner's find.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 02 2021
This is gold.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 174
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︎ Jan 14 2021
OP's post is for context but the comments are gold
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 17 2021
What did the Reddit user say after setting a bomb in a bank?
Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
π︎ 190
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︎ May 13 2021
I love GOLD , but *A* is silent in it!#chem punsΖͺ(Λβ£Λ)Κβ(β
ο½β)β
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why did the non-binary prospectors head west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills
π︎ 787
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
Why donβt chickens like to mine for gold?
They might find a nugget.
π︎ 15
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Gold walks into a bar
The bartender says "AU get out of here!"
π︎ 190
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︎ Nov 06 2020
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
π︎ 683
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︎ Apr 30 2020
This is gold
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 09 2021
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasnβt awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ May 19 2020
I just joined an online site for gold miner dating.
My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What did Apple call the small country they bought off the coast of Wales?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I couldnβt remember this guys name but knew it was Nate Gold-something.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 12 2021
No need for gold. I'm fine with silver(ware).
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you call a dinosaur without gold?
π︎ 88
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Why does Beethoven dislike chickens so much?
Well, when you ask them who their favorite composer is, they all say Bach.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
How do gold fishes get old?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
My vaccine dad joke failed
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"
I said as I was taking away his dental implant.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 18 2020
i saw some joke about gold
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
π︎ 56
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︎ Apr 01 2021
A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.
And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Did you hear about the Chef that died?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
He sadly ran out of thyme.
π︎ 49
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︎ Mar 25 2021
The gold standard
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Thereβs a sailor who is always finding foolβs gold
We call him the iron pirate.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
All these storms are hitting the Gulf Coast a lot quicker than usual.
Must be why they call them hurry-canes.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
It used to be free to fill your car tire up with air. Now it coasts 1.50. You know why?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 08 2019
I pulled a muscle while I was digging for gold.
π︎ 158
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
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