I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
Did you hear Santa got really sick from going down the chimney?
Yeah, they think he caught the flue.
Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!
I heard once that going down a hill, a bloke tripped with a coffin, and dropped it
He went into a chemist, and said, ‘I need something to stop my coffin’
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con, descending.
My son did not watch were he was going and slammed faced down on hard surface
What is going through carwash with windows down and dog in back seat?
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:
Speak now or forever hold your pee
Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.
They just suspended animation.
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
When your soy bread prices keep going up and down
Why does the Sun insist on going down at the end of the day?
What do you call a sneaky criminal going down a staircase?
A condescending con descending.
Edit: “snarky” not sneaky :)
Mom: I'm going to run down to my cousin's house. She needs to borrow the car.
Dad: If she needs the car, maybe you should drive there.
My wife said, "Did you know a bunch of cows lying down means it's going to rain?"
I replied, "Their legs must get really tired during a drought."
Chow down on the food that’s served, you’re going to get a good dessert
My dad's company, "Unclog", is going down the toilet.
Going down the highway today I saw a sign that said "test message"
How in the world do they expect me to have time to test it when I'm going past at 60 mph?
"I want a tattoo going down my spine, but I'll let you do anything you want," my son told the tattoo man. The tattoo man agreed to it and ended up tattooing an enormous gun my son's his spine.
Well, I guess that backfired.
Broken down car is not going any PhurThr...
I never know when I start dancing whether I'm going to drop down and do my signature move.
In the abandoned building down the street from "Tailor Swift" I'm going to open a sketchy-looking alteration service...
This is a family favorite. My grandpa got pulled over going the wrong way down a one way street.
The cop goes, "This is a one way street!"
My grandpa replies, "How many ways was I going?"
I'm going to write down the first idea that comes to mind and get on a treadmill
So I was going to write something down, but my friend brought me an unsharpened pencil.
I told him that the pencil he brought was pointless!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending!
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a snobish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending
What do you call a self-centered criminal going down a flight of stairs?
A condescending con descending
A mean crook yelled at me while going down stairs. He was a condescending con, descending.
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why does santa not like going down the chimney?
Because Santa is CLAUS-trophobic
What do you call a criminal going down stairs?
What do you call a snobbish thief going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs?
A condescending con descending
What do you call a snarky criminal going down stairs?
A condescending con descending
I got pulled over by a cop for going down the wrong way down a one way street...
He said "sir,do you realise this is a one way street?"
I said "but officer, I was only going one way."
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down a flight of stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
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