An astronaut is making coffee onboard the ISS...
He turns to his crewmate and says:
"Damn, I can't find any milk for my coffee."
The crewmate replies:
"In space no one can, here use cream."
What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?
What is an astronauts favourite drink?
What is an astronauts favourite key on a computer
What do you call an old astronaut?
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
How do you get an astronaut’s baby to sleep?
What do you call an Italian astronaut?
Dad told me I should be an astronaut...
apparently I have been taking up space for years.
I could've been an astronaut
But my parents told me the sky's the limit
God decided to check on humanity, so he sent an angel down to investigate..
After two weeks the angel came back and reported his findings to God. "It's not good, 95% of the population is bad and only 5% is good"
God thinks about it and decides to send a second angel just to get a different perspective. Two weeks later that angel comes back and reports the same thing. 95% bad, 5% good.
God thinks on this for a bit and decides that he has to do something. He settled on sending an email of encouragement to the 5% of the population that is good to encourage them they are on the right track and to keep up the good work.
Do you know what the email said? No? Me either, we must be part of the 95%!
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
How does an astronaut quiet a crying baby?
I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic..
Turns out he just needed a little space.
As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents didn't allow it.
They said the sky is the limit.
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
I'm looking for the story of an astronaut whose lunar Odyssey was very fruitful?
Did you know that the actor who plays Vizzini from the Princes Bride is an antibiotic?
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his lip during an intense workout?
First-timer as an astronaut here...
why was I told to "wait less" when I asked how we were floating?
Why is Jesus the "Lamb of God?"
Because he used him as a Scapegoat.
When someone on Earth transmits complaints to an astronaut in space, their argument is quickly escalated.
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN
Why did the carnivore become an astronaut?
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman .............
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
Finally became an astronaut
It was totally out of this world
When should an astronaut retire?
When they start spacing out
An elderly couple is in a church. The wife says to the husband “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”
My Dad: Did you know that Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Dad: Yeah, a Finnish Hymn.
The roofing business in my town is offering an excellent promotion.
If you buy one roof, it’s on the house.
What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper?
Why is T called an island?
Because it's in the middle of water.
A man is at a sellout football game with an empty seat beside him
The guy behind him notices that the seat is empty and asks why.
"My wife recently passed away. We have season passes and she never missed a game" the man said.
"I'm very sorry to hear that" replied the man behind him."Couldn't you have invited one of your friends to come with you to fill the seat?"
"Oh no!" The man replied. "They're all at the funeral".
When an astronaut is upset, sometimes they just need space.
My friend is an abacus.
I can always count on him!
What is an Astronauts favourite game...
A pirate crew is stuck on an island
Is an insect that comes from the moon....
Why is taylor approximation an atheist?
Cuz it is all about ignoring higher powers
Why is an elephant big, gray, and wrinkly?
Because if it was small, white, and round, it would be an aspirin.
Which is the astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
An astronaut was trying to make coffee on the space station...
Astronaut 1: "I want to make coffee but I can't find any milk."
Astronaut 2: "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
An astronaut is trying to make coffee in space..
Astronaut 1: "I want to make coffee but I can't find any milk."
Astronaut 2: "In space,no one can. Here,use cream."
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